Doctor no Go
by ComputerNerd
Summary: Some say that if intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe, then they play Go. The Doctor confirms that they do exist, and they do play Go at a level much higher than human professionals. REVISED TWICE - PLEASE RE-RE-READ.
1. Human Anomily

___Dokutaa Fuu wa yuushimasen..._

___I'm sorry, the auto-translator in the TARDIS must be malfunctioning._

___I do not own Doctor Who. Doctor Who is the work of the BBC._

___I'm not actually Japanese either, but I'm studying the language._

* * *

After an epic encounter with the Master, the Doctor had barely come out alive. In fact, he wasn't really alive for that much longer - at least not with this body.

The Doctor stood inside the TARDIS, not feeling ready to say goodbye to this life.

"I don't want to go!"

But it was too late. The Doctor burst into flames as the regeneration cycle started. When the flames died down, a different man was standing in his place.

The new Doctor examined his new form. "Legs. I've still got legs. Two legs and two arms. I think I'm even skinnier than I was last time. My skin's a slightly different shade. Hang on..."

The Doctor ran into the wardrobe of the TARDIS and examined his face in the mirror. "Well, that's new. I'm Asian! Well, I'm actually not human at all, but I look Asian. Usually I'm stuck with some Caucasian look or other, not to mention the British accent. Speaking of which, I've got a new accent that doesn't sound like it's ever used by native English speakers.

"Okay, I am now speaking Chinese. No, the accent is not quite right. I'm omnilingual, but my accent seems to be coming from some particular language.

"Korean. No, not Korean. Japanese. I'm speaking Japanese - perfect! Wait, something's a little off. This isn't a Tokyo accent. It's...It's an Osaka accent. Osaka is in Japan. I guess that means I'm Japanese - or as close to Japanese as a Time Lord can be.

"As long as I'm in the wardrobe, I should probably get a new outfit." The Doctor rummaged through his collection of clothes. He came across a bow tie. "Why do I even have bow ties in my wardrobe? Bow ties are stupid." He threw the bow tie into a trash can labeled "supernova," indicating that that was where his garbage would ultimately be dumped.

"Wait. What if I regenerate again and decide that I like bow ties? Nah. That's never going to happen. Now, I think the outfit I need is something Japanese." He came across a hanger with a kimono on it. "Perfect!"

* * *

There was rising tension in the Japanese anual Judan preliminary tournament. Whoever won this tournament would play a best three-out-of-five Go match against the current holder of the Judan title. If the Judan lost, his opponent would become the new Judan and gain 14,500,000 yen.

An intense game had just ended between a two 9dan pros. One of them was a seventeen-year-old girl - the only girl in the tournament. Although there are such things as female pros, they have their own set of title matches. This girl, however, had her own reasons for competing for a mainly male title.

The game was over, and the two players were counting each other's territory. The girl was behind on territory by six points. However, she had played white. Due to the six-and-a-half-point komi, she had won by half a point.

She walked over to the scoring chart to mark her victory. She stamped an empty red circle in the column under the name "Yamada Yumi." She picked up a red pen and recorded her half-point victory inside the circle. She then took another stamp and stamped a black circle under her opponent's column.

So far, nobody seemed to have noticed that Yumi had won all her games up to now by exactly half a point. Only she knew that she had done it intentionally.

___I have nothing to prove by beating most of these people, _she thought to herself. ___I don't even have any intention of becoming Judan. I'm in this tournament because someone else feels like showing off his strength when he already has three titles. I'm here to teach him a lesson._

Yumi did not know why she was such a strong Go player, or even why hardly anyone else was. Her friends who knew her full strength (she tried to keep it a secret from most of her colleagues) thought she had the ___Kami no Itte _(Hand of God). Only she could see the path of improvement that still lay ahead.

Yumi looked at her next opponent on the schedule. It was Honda Tetsuo, the man she was after. She looked at his record in the tournament. His game for this round had not finished yet. According to his records, he had won all his previous games by resignation.

___If only he weren't so arrogant, _Yumi thought, ___I'd enjoy playing him. I've seen his game records, and he looks to be evenly matched with me. But for some reason, he feels the need to bully the title holders._

She saw Honda walk next to him to mark his score. She knew he had won. She waited for him to mark his victory by resignation.

Instead, much to Yumi's surprise, he marked his column with an empty red circle. He wrote a number inside. His last opponent had lost by only two and a half points!

Yumi watched as Honda marked his opponent's loss under the name Yamada Taro. She looked at the collumn in surprise. Apart from the game that he just lost, Taro had won all of his games by exactly half a point!

___Could he be doing the same as I am? _Yumi wondered. ___Or is it coincidence? No. If he won that way by coincidence, Honda would have pummeled Taro just now._

* * *

Yumi and Honda met in the match room on the day of their game. Yumi bowed gave the standard greeting before starting their game. "Onegaishimasu."

Honda Tetsuo farted. "Oh, excuse me!" he said in embarrassment. He then bowed. "Onegaishimasu."

Yumi exerted all her strength against Honda. She made it to the end of the game without resigning. Unfortunately, she lost by a point and a half.

___This isn't over, Honda,_she thought. ___This is a double-knockout tournament. _In a double-knockout tournament, players are only eliminated if they lose twice. Players who have lost once play in a parallel tournament. At the end, there remains one player with no losses and one player with exactly one loss. Those two players face each other off. Whoever wins that game wins the tournament and challenges the current Judan title holder.

___I have to make it to the end with one loss. The only person who could stand in my way is Yamada Taro. Come to think of it, we do seem to be on the same side. Still, I must fight him with all my strength. Only the strongest is worthy to fight Honda._

* * *

The two unrelated players named Yamada met a few minutes before they would play each other. Taro was wearing a kimono, making him look a bit out of place, as everyone else was wearing more modern clothing. He looked to be in his twenties - except that his eyes appeared to be way older than the rest of his body. Yumi felt herself locked in eye contact with Taro. She could feel his eyes looking into her, and she knew that he knew she was doing the same in reverse.

Taro saw that Yumi was about the same age as she looked. Her eyes looked the same age as the rest of her body - but what they lacked in experience they more than made up for with out-of-this-world sharpness.

After a few seconds, the two of them remembered that they had to nigiri to determine who played what color. Since Taro was older than Yumi, though how much older was unclear, he grabbed a handful of white stones. Yumi grabbed one black stone and placed it on the board. Taro placed his stones on the board and counted an odd number. This meant that Yumi played black.

The buzzer rang. "Please begin your games," said the tournament director.

_"Onegaishimasu,"_ said Yumi and Taro together.

Yumi saw strength in Taro that surpassed her own in many areas. But he seemed to be suffering from one weakness - something Yumi kew how to do very well that Taro seemed to have a lot of trouble doing: sacrificing stones. He knew when not to fight hoplessly for the life of a dead group, but it seemed to cause him pain. And he seemed to be in even more pain when "throwing in" stones - placing them into enemy territory to force the opponent to capture the "throw-in" stone while giving the opponent's group bad shape as a result.

Normally, this kind of skill was crucial to have in order to win professional games. But Taro seemed to have abnormal strength in every other area, which somehow made up for it.

Not this time, though. Against Yumi's strength, Taro's weakness was his downfall. He lost by four and a half points.

* * *

Apart from her loss to Honda and her four-and-a-half-point victory against Taro, Yumi had won all her games by exactly half a point. Tomorrow would be the day of her rematch against Honda.

Today, as Yumi was leaving the building, she ran into Honda in an empty hallway. She heard him farting, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Good luck on our game tomorrow," said Honda coldly. Yumi noticed that there was something strange about the way Honda was talking, besides his cold voice.

"You're not speaking Japanese," she said in a weak voice. "I can understand every word you're saying, but... I've never heard any of them before!"

"You noticed," said Honda. "Now that you know too much, I'll have to kill you. Oh well, I was about to kill you anyway."

Yumi backed into a corner while Honda unzipped an invisible zipper on his forehead. An eerie, pale blue-green light came out of the zipper. He lifted up the flap on top of his head, and a green creature squeezed out of the human skin. When he was completely undressed from his disguise, he was much bigger than Honda Tetsuo had been.

"I am a Slitheen!" said the creature dramatically.

"You...You can't kill me," Yumi stuttered.

"Why not?" said Honda.

"Think about it," said Yumi, finding her voice. "One of the three best Go players in the Judan preliminary tournament, possibly in the world is discovered dead, right before she plays Go against one of the other two. People will suspect you."

"But they won't be able to prove it," laughed the creature. "I'm pretty good at covering up my murders, such as that of Honda Tetsuo. Wait, that's a bad example. After I killed him, I turned his body into a disguise. Still, it won't be that hard for me to cover up your murder. I'll just swallow your entire body!"

"Hold it right there, Sip Fex Thek Sharlaveer-Bar Slitheen!" said a voice behind the Slitheen. Yumi looked over his shoulder to see Yamada Taro pointing a gun at him.

"Ah, Doctor," said the Slitheen. "Are you threatening me with that water gun?"

"It's not loaded with water," said Taro, speaking the same language as Sip Fex Thek. "It's loaded with vinegar."

Sip Fex Thek Sharlaveer-Bar Slitheen shivered, but then he inhaled deeply through his nose. "Nice try," he said. "You can't fool the nose of a Raxacoricofallapatorian."

"Then there must be something wrong with your nose," said Taro, "because this is vinegar."

"Okay, you caught me," said Sip Fex Thek. "My nose is defective. I have no sense of smell."

"What's the big deal about vinegar?" interrupted Yumi.

"The Raxacoricofallapatorian race is made of living calcium," explained Taro. "Vinegar is an acetic acid. Calcium and acetic acids don't mix without a deadly chemical reaction - deadly to Raxacoricofallapatorians, that is."

"You still could be bluffing," said the Slitheen. "Why didn't you shoot me while my back was turned?"

"Because I had to give you a chance," said Taro. "You get to choose whether you live or die based on whether or not you follow through with your attempted murder."

"Or maybe you don't have any vinegar, so you can't kill me." said Sip Fex Thek. "You're just trying to scare me instead."

"Do you really want to take that risk?" asked Taro.

Yumi could tell that he was bluffing. She had learned a bit about Taro's character by playing Go with him, though she still had much to learn. Then again, the Slitheen had also seen the way Taro played. Yumi kept her mouth shut and prayed that Sip Fex Thek wouldn't figure out what she knew.

"All right, Doctor," said the Slitheen. "What did I do wrong this time?"

Yumi held back the temptation to let out a sigh of relief; she knew that doing so would probably tip the Slitheen off that Taro was indeed bluffing. She also noticed that the Slitheen kept calling Taro "Doctor." She felt the auto-translation in her head, and she knew it meant something like the Japanese word "isha," but it sounded more like his actual name. Yumi remembered that "Honda Tetsuo" wasn't the Slitheen's real name, so "Yamada Taro" probably wasn't the Doctor's real name either.

"Gambling with a fifth-level civilization in organized games is a violation of the intergalactic Shadow Proclamation," said the Doctor.

"You have got to be kidding me," said the Slitheen. "It's not like I'm attempting to blow up planet Earth with nuclear missiles and then sell the remaining radioactive fragments to other civilizations as fuel."

"That sounds like a very specific example," said Yumi. "How do I know that isn't your actual plan?"

"I gave that as an example because that's what my cousins tried to do years ago," explained the Slitheen. "Compared to that, stealing Go titles from earthlings doesn't sound like much, does it?"

"It's still illegal," said the Doctor. "It doesn't have quite as severe a penalty as the World War III incident you described. You just have to relinquish everything you earned from the games you won, and you are banned from playing organized games for a variable amount of time. The Shadow Proclamation penalty for the behavior your cousins displayed in World War III involves the maximum penalty as stated by the government of your home planet, which, in the case of the Raxacoricofallapatorian government, is the death penalty."

"Well, you didn't bother to go to all that trouble, did you?" the Slitheen accused. "You just blew them all up with a nuclear missile."

"That wasn't a penalty," the Doctor defended. "That was a defensive last resort to prevent your cousins from actually following through with their crime in the first place.

"As for your crime, you didn't only take advantage of your superior game strength against a fifth-level civilization. You also murdered Honda Tetsuo, and attempted murder on Yamada Yumi just now."

"Well, can you prove either of those?" asked the Slitheen.

"I've got Honda's Kifu records of his Go games during his career," answered the Doctor. "He was an ordinary human pro, with one title - namely gosei - then suddenly he started seemingly playing with the _kami no itte_, steeling two more titles so far - oza and tengen. And what's that device you're holding?"

"Oh, this?" said the Slitheen. "This is a chemical scanner. It's very useful for a handicapped Raxacoricofallapatorian such as myself. And it says that your water pistol is loaded with water - not vinegar."

"Okay, you caught me," said the Doctor. "I guess you have nothing to fear by killing Yamada Yumi."

The Slitheen turned around to slaughter Yumi, only to find that she had snuck out of the hallway. Then he heard a dinging noise coming from the elevator. The doors opened, and five cops stepped out.

Sip Fex Thek turned back to the Doctor to find that he had also ran off - and he had taken the Honda Tetsuo suit with him.

The cops stared at Sip Fex Thek Sharlaveer-Bar Slitheen. Finally, one of them spoke up.

"Nice costume."

"Oh! uhh..." the Slitheen stampered, "you like it?"

"It looks like a pretty solid way to disguise your identity when murdering someone," said another cop.

"Seems like overkill to me," said a third.

"Speaking of kill..." started the Slitheen.

The fourth cop pointed her gun at him. "Don't even think about it!"

The Slitheen surrendered while the fifth cop found a pair of handcuffs on his belt that were big enough to fit the Raxacoricofallapatorian's wrists.

"You will be escorted to our station where we will remove your costume," said the second cop.

When the Doctor heard this, he quietly peeked around the corner and carefully aimed his sonic screwdriver at the the fifth cop's belt. He activated the screwdriver, which emitted a high-pitched whistling sort of sound. A capsule on the cop's belt exploded, releasing sleeping gas.

* * *

Yumi wasn't expecting to actually play the final match. She went to the Nihon Ki-in anyway, expecting to win by default due to "Honda's" absence. But if she were absent as well, it would be a draw.

She was surprised to see Honda, or rather Sip Fex Thek Sharlaveer-Bar Slitheen, accompanied by Taro, AKA the Doctor.

"Don't worry, he's perfectly safe," said the Doctor, still speaking an alien language. "I put a deadlock on his disguise, and suppressed his strength – his ___physical _strength, of course. You should still have a fair rematch."

"But I called the cops on him!" said Yumi in Japanese. Even though she could somehow understand everything anyone said in any language, she couldn't make her own sentences unless they were in Japanese, Chinese, Korean or English.

"Well, things didn't work out so well," explained the Doctor. "The cops found him in his true form, and assumed it was a costume. They were about to arrest him and force his costume off. I had to intervene."

"What happense if I win this game?" asked the Slitheen. "Do I get to play in the Judan title match?"

"No," whispered the Doctor. "I'm going to turn you into the Shadow Proclamation after the game no matter what, and then I will leave Honda's dead body for the authorities to find. I'm only letting you do this because Yamada doesn't seem to get a good challenge very often."

Yumi blushed.

The Slitheen farted. Yumi waved her hand in front of her nose to disperse the smell - which didn't actually smell like farting so much as calcium-induced bad breath.

"Yeah, you'll have to put up with that," said the Doctor. "It's a side effect of squeezing a Slitheen's enormous body into a smaller human skin suit."

* * *

Yumi and Sip Fex Thek sat down in front of the go board. Yumi could see the cold, icy look in her opponent's human eyes, even though she knew that those weren't his real eyes, which looked more like bug eyes.

According to the results of nigiri, Yumi played black. "Onegaishimasu," she said.

"Onegaishimasu," said the Slitheen coldly.

Since this was the only game in the last round of the tournament, everyone in the room was crowding around to watch the game. It didn't take long for people to start whispering to each other.

"Is she really this good? She only beat me by half a point."

"Half a point exactly?"

"Exactly."

"She beat me by exactly half a point as well!"

"Me too!"

"Did she do it intentionally? She seems to be evenly matched with Honda."

"Honda kicked my butt! I had to resign."

"Same here!"

* * *

A few hours later...

"It's over! They're counting the score."

"They actually made it to the end of the game?"

Yumi, who played black, counted her territory. "69 moku."

"61 moku," replied her opponent.

Everyone gasped in shock (including the Doctor, who was a pretty good actor). Taking the six and a half point komi into account, Yumi had won by a point and a half!

* * *

"Well, we're off to see the authorities of the Shadow Proclamation," said the Doctor. "Good luck on the Judan title match. Remember, don't win the match, or I'll have to arrest you too,"

"Are you sure you can do that?" asked Yumi. "Technically I am human, and I do live in a fifth-level civilization, as you put it."

"Well, how should I put this?" said the Doctor. "You seem to be some kind of...anomaly. Your body is human, but your brain is...exceptional. Tell you what. When you're done with the title match, I'll take you where you can play all the competitive Go you like."

The Doctor and the Slitheen entered a blue police box, which faded and disappeared.

* * *

Yumi lost the first game of the Judan title match by half a point. Her opponent, Sato Yuki, was feeling very frustrated.

"I know what you're up to," he said angrily. "Stop patronizing me and start actually playing!"

The next match, Yumi did exactly what the Judan told her to do. He resigned pretty quickly.

"Is this what you really want?" asked Yumi.

"If you don't want the Judan title, why did you join the tournament?" asked Sato.

"To stop the Slith...I mean, Honda Tetsuo in his tracks," answered Yumi. "With bullies like him around, people would soon get discouraged after being trampled underfoot every time. The balance of the world of Go would be upset."

"So instead you're going to let your strength go to waste?" asked the Sato.

"What else can I do?" replied Yumi.

"There is a third option," said the Sato. "Ever hear of teaching games?"

"Of course I have," said Yumi. "But do you really want that?"

"It sure beats you forcing the exact outcome of the game beyond my control," said her opponent. "Tell you what: for the rest of this match, play teaching games. Whether I win or lose will depend on how quickly I can learn. If I lose the match, you will accept the title of Judan."

"All right, it's a deal," said Yumi reluctantly.

Yumi won the third game of the title match. She lost the fourth. Therefore the match went on the the final game.

* * *

The Doctor returned when the title match was over. "Hello, Yamada-Judan," he said when he met Yumi.

"I'm sorry," said Yumi defensively. "I tried not to win, but it got complicated when..."

"It's okay, I'm not arresting you," said the Doctor. "I know the whole story from the ___Go Weekly _magazine. Sato-san didn't like being patronized."

"I didn't think that ___Go Weekly_would print our conversation," said Yumi.

"It didn't," said the Doctor. "I interpreted what happened based on the game records. In the first game, you forced your own loss by half a point. In the second game, you kicked his but. The next three games looked like teaching games. I just wish the Shadow Proclamation had the same insight. I had to fill in a lot of paperwork for the Judoon – the space police who look like rhinos – in order to clear your name. Those Judoon are incredibly thick in the head."

"Wait a minute," said Yumi. "Now that I'm the famous Judan, I can't just disappear. If it weren't for that, I might be able to come with you and play Go against aliens."

"You still can," said the Doctor. "My ship doesn't just travel through space. It travels through time as well. I call it the TARDIS. T-A-R-D-I-S. Time and Relative Dimension in Space."

"Hang on," said Yumi. "That's English! If you're from outer space, how did your ship get an English acronym for a name?"

"Originally it was called something like that in my own language," explained the Doctor, "but it was really long. My granddaughter Susan grew up on Earth, in England, despite being an alien like myself. She came up with the acronym. If you like, you can call it TOTOUNIHINAJI. That's TOki TO Uchuu NI HIkakuteki NA JIgen."

"No, TAADISU is fine, Oishasan," said Yumi. "Can I call you Dokutaa-san?"

"If you like, Yamada-chan," said the Doctor. "But I'd prefer just Dokutaa."

"You can call me Yumi, Doctor," said Yumi. "And speaking of languages, why can I understand alien languages that I've never heard before?"

"It's part of the TARDIS's technology," answered the Doctor. "It gets into your head and translates everything you hear. Although you're the first human I've met who can still distinguish between a language the TARDIS makes you understand and a language that you actually speak."

"Maybe it's because I know more than one Earth language," suggested Yumi.

"No, it's not that," said the Doctor. "It's just your exceptionally powerful brain."

They arrived at the blue box. "After you," said the Doctor.

Yumi stepped inside the TARDIS, which the Doctor had redecorated recently. It looked like the interior of a vast Japanese shrine. She looked around, then came out and walked in a circle around the TARDIS, examining the outside.

"Come on, say it," said the Doctor when Yumi came back inside the TARDIS. "Everyone does."

"It's Japanese on the inside," said Yumi.

"Actually, that's not the thing that everyone says," said the Doctor.

"It's British on the outside?" suggested Yumi.

"It's _bigger_ on the inside!" said the Doctor.

"I didn't think it was necessary to say that," said Yumi. "No offense, but it's pretty obvious, isn't it?"

"Fair enough," said the Doctor. "Next stop, Intergalactic Go Salon!" He pulled some levers, pushed some buttons, turned some dials, and started up the engine.


	2. Yet Another Wound in Time

___I will not buy this screwdriver. It is sonic._

___Stupid translator. They don't make TARDISES the way they used to._

___I still do not own Doctor Who or Monty Python. Both are the work of the BBC. Monty Python is owned by John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones and the late Graham Chapman._

___And now for something completely different: a man with two hearts!_

* * *

"Welcome to the Intergalactic Game Salon!" said the Doctor as he and Yumi stepped out of the TARDIS. "It features games from various galaxies. We're 500,000 years into your future, when the human race joins in. Not that it matters for Go, since most civilizations developed it independently. They also have Chess and Shogi."

"I've tried those," said Yumi. "Go is way more fun."

"How do you always win?" asked a human player at a nearby table.

"I'm the champion of Go here," said the alien who had just beaten him. "And you're just a human. Your kind may have been promoted to a third-level civilization, but you're still no match for me."

_This guy's almost as rude as the Slitheen I played against back on Earth,_ thought Yumi. _Still, if he's really the champion here, he's probably the best person for me to learn from in terms of new strategies._

"Would you be willing to play Go with me?" Yumi politely asked the champion.

The champion laughed. "You're a pretty little girl, I'll give you that," he said. "Are you trying to distract your way to victory?"

"No," said Yumi. "I probably won't beat you, but I can still learn from you."

"Prepare to learn what merciless defeat feels like!" said the alien.

Yumi sat down across from the champion. They used a randomizer machine to determine who played what color. Yumi played white.

"Onegaishimasu," said Yumi.

"Good luck," replied the alien. "You'll need it."

The alien played his first move on a 1-2 point. Yumi had seen human amateurs play like that, but she had never seen the Slitheen or the Doctor play like that, and she had never seen anything useful come from that move.

Yumi's first move was on a 4-4 point near the corner diagonally opposite the corner that the alien's black stone was near.

The alien played on the 2-1 point - one point diagonally away from his first move. Now the two black stones formed an eye in the 1-1 point in the corner.

Yumi was starting to get frustrated. Her opponent seemed to be diving into building territory immediately with no knowledge of framework.

* * *

Yumi's suspicion proved to be correct. Throughout the game, her opponent continued to extend his territory like a worm, while Yumi angrily solidified her territory from the framework she had built across the board.

Yumi won by about 300 points. "How did you make such a comeback?" asked her opponent.

One of Yumi's eyebrows twitched. "What kind of comeback did I make?" she asked, trying to control her rage.

"I had a few points of territory in the beginning while you had zero," said the alien.

"Only if the game were to end right then!" said Yumi, who was starting to lose control of her tone. "The game never ends at a position like that!"

"Why do you sound so angry?" asked the human who had lost the previous game. "You won. You beat our champion."

Yumi had tried to keep her manners under control, but she could no longer hold back her sarcasm. "WHOOPTY DOO!" she screamed.

Yumi clapped her hand over her mouth, ashamed her rudeness. "Um, I should probably get going," she said. She then ran toward the TARDIS.

"Doctor, what's going on?"

"I honestly have no idea," said the Doctor. "Last time I visited here, these people were stronger than Sip Fex Thek Sharlaveer-Bar Slitheen."

"What does 'last time you visited here' mean for a time traveler?" asked Yumi.

"Well, I made sure to arrive here this time shortly after my last visit relative to the causal nexus of this place."

"Right," said Yumi. She had never heard the term "causal nexus" before, but she had a pretty good grasp of what the Doctor was trying to say.

"You said the people here were stronger than the Slitheen," said Yumi. "Do the Raxa...um, Raxa...do the Slitheen have time traveling technology?"

"No," answered the Doctor, "the Raxacoricofallapatorians do not have time travel. They have short-range teleportation technology, and their ships can travel significantly faster than light. But they aren't quite to the level of manipulating the time stream."

"So Sip Fex Thek Sharlaveer-Bar Slitheen had to have been born in roughly the same time period as I was, but on another planet. So if we go back to my present time, but land on Raxacorico-whatever..."

"Sip Fex Thek is on probation," interrupted the Doctor. "And it would be too dangerous to meet him before that event in his life. It would twist the causal nexus."

"But there should be other Slitheen who are just as strong, right?" said Yumi.

"Yes, but every Raxacoricofallapatorian in the Slitheen family is trained from birth for crime," replied the Doctor. "It's a family tradition passed down between generations."

"Okay, but what about other Raxacoricofallapatorians?" asked Yumi. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I finally said it!"

"I sure hope they have the strength," said the Doctor. "Let's go. Ikuze*!"

* * *

The TARDIS materialized in the local game station of Raxacoricofallapatorius. Yumi and the Doctor disembarked.

"Excuse me," said Yumi to the Raxacoricofallapatorian who looked like she was in charge. "Do people play Go here?"

"Go?" repeated the receptionist, looking confused.

"Igo!" said Yumi. "Weiqi! Baduk!"

"Igo...Weiqi...Baduk...no, none of those games ring any bells."

"Doctor," whispered Yumi, "If the TARDIS translates everything I say, why is she repeating the names I said with the same pronunciation?"

"Because none of those names are being translated," the Doctor whispered back. "They're all the same game," he said to the receptionist. "It has many different names throughout the universe. I believe you call it Davivenkujedekemogopy."

"Sorry," said the Raxacoricofallapatorian. "I've never heard of Davivenku...what you said."

___A Raxacoricofallapatorian is having trouble remembering how to pronounce a long name? _thought Yumi. ___This is going from bad to worse._

"Yumi, we have a problem," said the Doctor. "Reality is being warped. Time itself is being wounded."

"So Go no longer exists?" asked Yumi worriedly.

"Not on Raxacoricofallapatorius," asnwered the Doctor.

"As much as I love the game, I must admit that it could be worse," said Yumi. "Entire races could be disappearing."

"You're right," said the Doctor. "It could be worse, and unless we do something, it will get worse. This is only the beginning."

"But why is this the beginning?" asked Yumi. "Why is it starting with Go?"

"A wound in time could start anywhere," answered the Doctor. "If it's untreated, it always spreads."

Suddenly a bunch of aliens wearing helmets teleported in front of Yumi and the Doctor.

"Oh, no," said the Doctor.

One of the aliens removed its helmet to reveal the head of what looked like a rhinoceros. "Boh Skoh Foh Doh Noh Kroh Bloh Koh Shoh Roh," it said.

"But I thought the Doctor cleared my name with you already!" said Yumi.

The alien recorded Yumi's voice, then paused while processing it. "Language assimilated. Earth. Japanese. We are the Judoon of the...wait. Reply indicates that the suspect already understands our language."

"Perhaps you're smarter than I thought," said the Doctor.

"Yamada Yumi, you are under arrest under Article 5 of the Gaming department of the Shadow Proclamation," said the Judoon.

"Or perhaps not," said the Doctor.

"Doctor, don't be rude!" said Yumi.

"You have taken the Judan title from a level 5 civilization, but you are too strong to be competing," said the Judoon.

"I only joined the competition to stop a Slitheen from taking the title," said Yumi.

"We do not have any records of Slitheen involvement," said the Judoon.

"That's impossible!" said the Doctor.

"His name was Sip Fex...um, Doctor?" said Yumi.

"Sip Fex Thek Sharlaveer-Bar Slitheen," said the Doctor.

"We have no records of Slitheen by that name," said the Judoon.

"He had no sense of smell," said Yumi.

"That does not comply," said the Judoon. "All Raxacoricofallapatorians have exceptional senses of smell, with one exception on record. This defective Raxacoricofallapatorian is not in the Slitheen family."

"Listen," said the Doctor. "This misunderstanding is clearly part of a huge time distortion. In the normal time line I've already cleared Yumi's name, but in this one, I haven't. I wish I could fill more paperwork to clear her name again, but while I do that, the time distortion will spread. I need you Judoon to trust me and let her go. Once I fix the time distortion, reality will warp back to normal and you'll remember my paperwork."

"Logic not accepted," said the Judoon.

"Doctor, you said earlier that the crime I'm accused of is not punishable by death," said Yumi. "I should be fine. You should go back the TARDIS. You'll be better off there than trying to argue with the Judoon here." She then winked at the Doctor.

"Right," said the Doctor. "But I'm warning you," he said to the Judoon. "If you leave so much as one scratch on her, you'll have the Oncoming Storm to answer to."

"Who's that?" asked Yumi.

"Me," answered the Doctor. He then ran towards the TARDIS.

Yumi followed the Judoon to their spaceship. They locked her inside a cell in the ship, then left her alone and started up the engines.

As Yumi expected, the TARDIS appeared in her cell. What she didn't expect was that the police box materialized around the spot in the cell where she had been standing. From her point of view, the Japanese shrine-like interior of the TARDIS was appearing around her, replacing the cell.

"Doctor, did you really have to threaten the Judoon?" asked Yumi. "They're police!"

"And I'm the Oncoming Storm," replied the Doctor. "The Judoon are terrified of me."

"But police officers sometimes shoot at things that scare them," said Yumi.

"Well, when I'm angry, I tend to give off the kind of fear that could silence a crying baby," said the Doctor. "Now, on to business. We need to investigate this wound in time."

"Where to?" asked Yumi.

"Earth," answered the Doctor. "We need to check the damage there. Ikuze!"

* * *

___* Ikuze is the Doctor's new catch phraze. It's a childish way of saying "let's go" in Japanese. The Doctor may be 900 years old, and he is wise in many ways, but somewhat childish in others. In the official Doctor Who, the Doctor's tenth regeneration said "Allons-y" a lot, which is French for "let's go." I know nothing about formality levels in the French language._


	3. Hon'inbo Shusaku

___I still do not own Doctor Who, Spider-Man or any other references in this fanfic. Doctor Who is the work of the BBC. Spider-Man is the work of Stan Lee._

* * *

Yumi opened the door of the TARDIS and looked around. She was quite confident that she was back on Earth, as the Doctor had planned, but they definitely weren't in the twenty-first century.

"Doctor, where and when are we?"

"We're in Tokyo," answered the Doctor. "The year is 1842."

"The year 1842 is the 240th year of the Edo period," replied Yumi. "Which means we're not in Tokyo; we're in Edo."

"We're still in Tokyo, but the city doesn't go by that name." argued the Doctor.

"At any rate, I think I need a passport," said Yumi.

"Don't you have one?" replied the Doctor.

"I have a twenty-first century, Heisei-period passport. I need it to fly on airplanes in my present time, but in the Edo period, I'm pretty sure people needed passports just to walk the streets."

"Right you are," said the Doctor. "Here, take this." he tossed her a small black booklet with a single white piece of paper inside.

Yumi opened it up and looked at the paper suspiciously. "This paper's blank!"

"My god, you're clever," said the Doctor.

"I'm clever because I recognize a blank paper when I see one?" said Yumi skeptically.

"It's psychic paper," explained the Doctor. "Most people who look at it think that it says what I want it to say. You seem to be immune."

"So do you control it?" asked Yumi.

"Not necessarily," answered the Doctor. "You can control it too."

"But doesn't that mean that I have to hold it to control it?"

"Nope. If you hand it to someone else, he'll think it says the last thing you made it say. But if he realizes how to use it, he can rewrite it with his mind. Don't worry, as long as people think that they see what you want them to, they won't suspect anything."

"How do I know it works if I can't read what it's supposed to say?" asked Yumi.

"There's nothing you can't do," answered the Doctor. "Your mind is stronger than the psychic paper. Unlike most people, you can detect when the paper is trying to trick you. However, like most people, you don't like being tricked, so your mind rejects the illusion."

"So I just need to accept the illusion?" asked Yumi.

"Well, I wouldn't say accept it completely," said the doctor. "Just half-accept it. It's like allowing one eye to drift into the illusions while the other eye stays in reality. Perhaps you could use some practice. The psychic paper, please."

Yumi tossed the psychic paper back to the Doctor. He held it up in his right hand for her to see. "What does this say?" he asked.

Yumi squinted at the blank paper. She could feel a wave of energy coming out of it, trying to tell her something. "It's supposed to say Igo," she answered.

The Doctor hid the psychic paper behind his back, moved it into his left hand, and showed it to Yumi.

"Weiqi," said Yumi.

The doctor switched the paper to his right hand behind his back, then showed it to Yumi again.

"Baduk," said Yumi.

The Doctor hid the paper behind his back again, then showed Yumi another message.

"Davivenku...jedekemogopy," said Yumi slowly.

"Good," said the Doctor.

"And that wasn't the psychic paper," added Yumi. "It really did have Raxacoricofallapatorian writing on it. It's thanks to the TARDIS that I can read it at all."

"Very good," said the Doctor. He then picked up the real psychic paper on the panel behind his back and handed it back to Yumi.

"So, I should probably note my date of birth in the old Kyureki calendar," said Yumi. "I was born on May 5th, 1993 on the Gregorian calendar. Since 1993 hasn't happened yet, I should pretend I was born 17 years before this year. As for the month and date...I actually like the fifth day of the fifth month. So I'll say that my birthday is Satsuki 5, 223rd year of Edo.."

"Now, you should probably change your clothes in order to blend in." said the Doctor. "There's a wardrobe in the basement of the TARDIS. Just follow the signs."

* * *

"You look nice in a kimono," said the Doctor as he and Yumi walked down the streets of Edo.

"So do you," said Yumi. The Doctor had been wearing a kimono ever since Yumi had met him, though she had never brought it up.

"So if this is 1842, Hon'inbo Shusaku should be 13 years old, and a pro already," said Yumi. "Do we get to meet him?"

"That's what we're here for," said the Doctor. "If Go is being eliminated from time and space, we should check to make sure he's still the strongest player in human history - until you came along, that is."

Yumi blushed. "I won't know that until I play him."

The Doctor approached a guard. "Excuse me, but we're a little lost. Could you direct me to the Hon'inbo House?"

"May I see your passports?" replied the guard.

Yumi showed him the psychic paper. The guard took it and looked it over.

"Looking good for 37 years of age," said the guard.

"What?" said Yumi in surprise. "Um, I was born in the 223rd year of Edo."

"Yes, and that was 37 years ago," replied the guard. "This is the 260th year."

Yumi looked at the Doctor. She could see that he had miscalculated the year they had landed in, but they both knew that this wasn't the time to talk about it.

"Oh, of course," said Yumi. "Sorry. Brainfreeze."

"Yeah, I took her out for a drink last night, so she has a slight hangover," explained the Doctor. "Right now you can't really tell the difference unless you ask her a math question. She should be completely sober pretty soon."

While the Doctor was talking, Yumi subtly passed the psychic paper to him behind her back.

"May I see your identification please, sir?" the guard asked the Doctor.

The Doctor showed him the psychic paper. "Yamada Taro of the Hon'inbo House. Born on the 235th year of Edo."

"If you're from the Hon'inbo House, why are you asking me for directions?" asked the guard.

"Because I just got admitted into the house," said the Doctor. "This is my first time."

"And I still have a hangover," added Yumi.

"She's my teacher," said the Doctor. "She taught me everything I know about Go."

"You're not really 25, are you?" said Yumi.

"How can you tell?" asked the Doctor.

"It's all in the eyes," answered Yumi.

"I'm 906 years old," said the Doctor.

"And ___I _am ___your_teacher," said Yumi with a slight laugh.

"You beat me in the Judan tournament, Yumi-Sensei," replied the Doctor.

"Please don't call me that," said Yumi. "I think you're stronger than I am in most respects. You just had one weakness that was your downfall."

"What was that?" asked the Doctor.

"You seem to be too attached to your stones. Every time you create a group, you can't seem to bear watching it die, as though it were a close friend of yours."

"That pretty much reflects my personal life," said the Doctor. "Whenever I see someone die, I can't help but think that I should have done something to save them. Maybe it's to atone for what I did earlier."

"What did you do?"

"It started with a war between my people, known as the Time Lords, and a race of genetically engineered monsters known as the Daleks."

"I know the Daleks," said Yumi. "Every human in my generation remembers what they almost did to Earth."

"Then you know that they won't stop killing until Daleks are the only race left in the universe. They tried to kill the Time Lords. The Time Lords fought back. I was able to end the Time War, but it cost the lives of Time Lords and Daleks alike, leaving me the only survivor.

"Or so I thought. Since then, I ran into more Daleks, who had barely survived the Time War. By the time I met them, they had regained a lot of strength. But I passionately wiped them out again. I blamed them for the death of my people.

"Each battle between me and the Daleks had the same result: they got defeated, but somehow survived. I suffered some great loss or other. So it was pretty much the same for both sides.

"But finally, I ran into a Dalek who had the capacity to question his own destructive instincts. He could choose a different path. Some might say that this proved the existence of his soul.

"Meeting this Dalek was enough to shock me into finally opening my eyes and see myself for what I was: the very evil I was fighting against in the Daleks, and now I had to face it inside myself.

"That wasn't my last Dalek. But fighting them became a whole lot harder after that. I never really knew what was the right way to end the fight."

As the Doctor's story came to a close, he and Yumi happened to arrive on foot at the Hon'inbo House.

"Doctor," said Yumi, "if this is the 260th year of Edo, then Shusaku..."

"...is about to die of the cholera epidemic," finished the Doctor. "We haven't got much time."

"So couldn't we take the TARDIS back 20 years?" asked Yumi. "Or even better, 16 years. I want to see Shusaku play the Ear-Reddening Move."

"Only if we can get back to the TARDIS without Shusaku seeing us," said the Doctor. "If we meet him now, then go back in time and meet him again, but for the first time for him, we might end up accidentally giving him spoilers that could rip a hole in the fabric of space and time."

"Are you two new here?" asked a voice from behind.

Yumi and the Doctor turned around. "Yes, we are," said the Doctor. "I'm Yamada Taro."

"And I'm Yamada Yumi."

"I'm Hon'inbo Shusaku," said the man. "Pleasure to meet you."

"So much for that idea," muttered the Doctor.

"Pleasure to meet you too," said Yumi politely. "May I have your autograph, please?"

"Sure, if you have something to write on," said Shusaku.

Yumi reached into an inner pocket of her kimono and pulled out a pen and a book listing all of Shusaku's game records. She opened the book up and searched for the right page. "Could you sign here, please?"

"Ah, that game," said Shusaku, signing his name. "People really did seem impressed by it. They called it the Ear-Reddening Game."

"Did Gennan Inseki's ear really turn red?" asked Yumi.

"I don't know," answered Shusaku. "I was concentrating on the game. There was a doctor in the audience who said that he saw Gennan's ear turn red when I played the 127th move one point above the center."

"Let's see if you can make my ear turn red," said Yumi.

"Are you challenging me to a game?" asked Shusaku.

"Yes, I am," said Yumi.

"I accept your challenge," said Shusaku. "I've been waiting for an opponent for a while. I haven't played Go since I played Narabayashi Kurakichi."

* * *

Shusaku nigiri'd with 8 white stones. Yumi placed one black stone. Yumi therefore played white. She remembered that the komi rule hadn't been invented yet.

_"Onegaishimasu,"_ said Yumi and Shusaku together.

Yumi was relieved to find that Shusaku's strength had not been affected by the wound in time. Shusaku was just as strong as his records suggested, and much stronger than any pro Yumi had played in her modern time.

Yumi, however, still had her mysterious strength that surpassed Shusaku. She tried to monitor it throughout the game, keeping the difference between their advantages to a minimum. This worked until Shusaku had a sudden stroke of insight, similar to his famous Ear-Reddening Move.

Yumi knew she was behind, so she started playing with more strength and less moderation. Unfortunately for her, she and Shusaku were already approaching the endgame. Yumi played with all her strength to make a comeback.

At the very end of the game, Yumi and Shusaku had equal territory. Since there was no komi, the game was a draw. "Thank you for the game," said Yumi, bowing.

"Thank you for the game," repeated Shusaku, also bowing. "I just wish more people were watching it. Would you consider a rematch on another day?"

"How about tomorrow?" asked Yumi.

"Sure," answered Shusaku. "I have to go now. I promised my friend that I would visit him at the medical clinic. He's very ill, due to that cursed cholera plague."

"Doctor, isn't there anything we can do to help Shusaku?" asked Yumi after Shusaku had left.

"No, nothing," answered the Doctor.

"Don't the Time Lords have cures for cholera?" asked Yumi.

"That's not the point," said the Doctor. "Shusaku's death is a fixed point in history. If we try to change it, it could fracture the time line."

"Well, it looks like the time line has already been fractured," said Yumi.

"If we try to save Shusaku's life, it could be that attempt that creates the fracture in the first place," argued the Doctor.

"But you're a Time Lord," said Yumi. "You could figure out something."

"Don't tempt me," said the Doctor. "I actually have tried that once before. I was so sick and tired of seeing people die in fixed points in time that I got carried away. I tried to take the laws of time into my own hands. If I had succeeded, it could have destroyed the entire universe. The only reason I didn't succeed was because the woman whose life I was trying to save killed herself, for the sole purpose of correcting the time line."

"Tell me one thing," said Yumi. "Why are you called the Doctor?"

The Doctor said nothing.

"I don't remember seeing the _Oncoming Storm_ at a loss for words before," said Yumi.

"There is a way to save him," said the Doctor. "But only one way. We have to be extremely careful and delicate. You see, the thing about fixed points in time is that the only thing that's really fixed is what people observed. And people observed Shusaku's death – or at least that's what it looked like."

"So you're saying that no matter what we do, it has to _look_ like Shusaku dies of cholera," said Yumi.

"Now you're catching on," said the Doctor. He took a syringe out of his kimono. "Here, I'll need to inject you with something. It will protect you from the cholera plague." He injected Yumi, who twitched slightly from the pain. "Obviously this isn't what we're giving Shusaku. Otherwise he'd be cured too quickly for our disguise to work. I will inject him with something else, but it will have no effect while he gets ill. It will only kick in when he's about to die. Then the formula will kick in and put him into stasis. We'll wait for people to bury him, then we'll dig up his grave."

"One problem," said Yumi. "This is the cholera epidemic we're talking about. Everyone knows that dead bodies can still be contagious. Shusaku will probably be cremated."

"Oh, right," said the Doctor. "Plan B: I'll mix in an inflammability serum. Then while he's in the fire, we'll teleport him into the TARDIS, cure him completely, and wake him up. Now, let's go find him."

"What about you, Doctor?" asked Yumi. "Shouldn't you inject yourself?"

"I'm a Time Lord," said the Doctor. "My immune system is stronger than yours."

Yumi and the Doctor found Shusaku in a medical clinic, crying over his friend's dead body. "Not now," he said. "I'm in too much emotional distress to be playing Go."

"That's not what we're here for," said Yumi. "We're trying to save your..."

"Yumi, not so loud!" said the Doctor.

"Sorry," said Yumi, lowering her voice. "We're trying to save your life."

"I know it's risky to be so close to people with cholera," said Shusaku. "But that's a risk I'm willing to take."

The Doctor scanned Shusaku with his Sonic Screwdriver. "Actually, you're already infected," said the Doctor. "That's what we're saving you from."

"How do you know that?" asked Shusaku. "And what is that thing you're holding?"

"This is my Sonic Screwdriver," said the Doctor. "It can scan for data and hack locks, and it does it all by carefully modulated sonic vibrations. Understand?"

"Not a word," said Shusaku. "Does your husband always talk like this?" he asked Yumi.

"What?" replied Yumi. "He's not my husband."

"Sorry," said Shusaku. "Brother?"

"We're not related," said the Doctor. "Yamada is a common name in Japan."

"For that matter, so is Taro," said Yumi. "My father's name was Yamada Taro."

"'Was?'" repeated Shusaku. "Did he change it?"

"No," said Yumi. "He died before I was born."

"I'm so sorry," said Shusaku.

"And you're also dying, which is why we're here," Yumi added.

"If you can save me when I'm already infected, can you save other victims while you're at it?" asked Shusaku.

"It's an experimental process," said the Doctor. "There's a small chance that we might end up killing the people that we're trying to save. Normally we'd try it on lab rats first, but they all escaped."

"Then try the experiment on me," said Shusaku. "I'd rather risk my own life to save a friend's than the other way around."

_The Doctor must have known that Shusaku would say that,_ thought Yumi. _I'm not sure I like how he played him. At least he's trying to save Shusaku's life._

The Doctor took a syringe out of his kimono. "Give me your arm, please," he said to Shusaku. "This won't hurt a bit."

Shusaku held out his arm, and the Doctor injected him.

"Ow!" said Shusaku.

"There, you see?" said the Doctor. "I lied."

Yumi and the Doctor returned to the TARDIS. "It will take some time for Shusaku to get fatally ill," said the Doctor. "We could use the TARDIS to fast-forward to his funeral."

Yumi yawned. "Actually, I think I need some sleep first," she said.

"Good idea," said the Doctor. "I should get some sleep too."

* * *

"I - AM - A-LONE - IN - THE - U-NI-VERSE," said a weakened Dalek in Henry Van Staten's museum. "SO - ARE - YOU. WE - ARE - THE - SAME."

"We are not the same!" shouted the Doctor in English, with a northern English accent. "I'm not...no, wait. Maybe we are. 'Cause I know what to do. I know what should happen. I know what you deserve. Exterminate!"

Suddenly, the Doctor was in Satellite Five, in the year 200,100. "This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then, I'm gonna save the Earth, and then, just to finish off, I'm gonna wipe every last STINKING DALEK out of the sky!"

"HAIL - THE - DOC-TOR," said the Dalek Emperor. "THE - GREAT - EX-TER-MI-NA-TOR!"

The Doctor suddenly found himself back at Van Staten's Museum. "All right, then," he said. "If you want orders, follow this one. Kill yourself. The Daleks have failed! Why don't you finish the job and make the Daleks extinct? Rid the universe of your filth! Why don't you just DIE?"

"YOU - WOULD - MAKE - A - GOOD - DA-LEK!" said the Dalek.

"HAIL - THE - DOC-TOR!"

"YOU - WOULD - MAKE..."

"THE - GREAT - EX-TER-MI-NA-TOR!"

"...A - GOOD - DALEK!"

Suddenly, the Doctor woke up, sweat pouring down his face.

"Nightmare?" asked Yumi.

"Yeah," said the Doctor.

"Me too," said Yumi. "I dreamed I had taken all the professional Go titles, both the female-only titles and the open titles that men usually end up holding. Nobody wanted to play against me, and they had pretty much given up on even playing against each other."

"I wish I had your nightmare," said the Doctor.

"Hey, don't mock my nightmares!" said Yumi angrily. "Everyone has different worst fears. I'm sure I was just as scared of my nightmare as you were of reliving your dark past, fighting fire with fire against the Daleks."

"How did you..." started the Doctor.

"You were talking in your sleep," said Yumi.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" asked the Doctor.

"No, I've been awake already for a few hours," said Yumi. "Do Time Lords spend more time asleep than humans?"

"Yes, but we also spend more time awake," answered the Doctor. "A day on Gallifrey is longer than a 24-hour day on Earth.* Anyway, I don't think I'll be getting any more sleep any time soon."

Yumi and the Doctor made sure to arrive in time for Shusaku's cremation. The fire surrounded Shusaku's body, but he was still visible through the flames. Therefore the Doctor used his Sonic Screwdriver to enlarge the flames, concealing Shusaku's entire body. He then used a teleportation remote to send Shusaku to the TARDIS. When the flames died down, ashes remained where Shusaku's body had been.

"Ashes are much easier to fake than an entire human body," the Doctor whispered to Yumi.

When Yumi and the Doctor returned to the TARDIS, then found Shusaku in the TARDIS, still lying motionless. Yumi and the Doctor tried in vain to wake him up. Finally, the Doctor scanned him with the Sonic Screwdriver.

"So what's the Sonic Screwdriver saying?" asked Yumi.

"It says that Shusaku's been infected by more than the cholera epidemic," answered the Doctor. "There was a crack in space and time running through him, probably because of his significance in the Go world. That crack turned him into a sort of time-space magnet, attracting the plague to him."

"Does that mean that we just created the crack in space and time?" asked Yumi.

"No," answered the Doctor. "Shusaku was a victim of the crack, but not the cause. The crack in space and time is eliminating the game of Go and its players from reality."

"So what do we do now?" asked Yumi.

"My Sonic Screwdriver has collected enough data to trace the time-space fracture from Shusaku to the source," answered the Doctor, starting up the TARDIS's engine. "Shusaku's death won't be in vain!"

_* I made up this fact about Gallifrey's days. I have never seen any fictional plot points to the contrary in the official series, but I could be wrong._


	4. More Human Nature

___I still do not own Doctor Who. Doctor Who is the work of the BBC._

* * *

Previously...

"Doctor, isn't there anything we can do to help Shusaku?" asked Yumi.

"There is a way to save him," said the Doctor. "But only one way. We have to be extremely careful and delicate."

When Yumi and the Doctor returned to the TARDIS, then found Shusaku in the TARDIS, still lying motionless. Yumi and the Doctor tried in vain to wake him up.

"It says that Shusaku's been infected by more than the cholera epidemic," said the Doctor. "There was a crack in space and time running through him, probably because of his significance in the Go world. That crack turned him into a sort of time-space magnet, attracting the plague to him...My Sonic Screwdriver has collected enough data to trace the time-space fracture from Shusaku to the source. Shusaku's death won't be in vain!"

* * *

The Doctor passionately followed the trail of the time-space damage. Suddenly he saw something flying towards him through the time stream.

"INCOMING!" he shouted.

Yumi struggled to keep her balance as the Doctor maneuvered the TARDIS around the blue flying police box that nearly hit them.

"Doctor," said Yumi, "was that...?"

"Yes," said the Doctor. "The TARDIS."

"So is it this TARDIS from the past or future?" asked Yumi. "Or is it another TARDIS?"

"This is the last TARDIS," replied the Doctor. "All the others were destroyed along with the Time Lords. And even if I'm wrong, my TARDIS is the only one that looks like a police box."

"So was it the future TARDIS or the past TARDIS?" asked Yumi.

"It had to be from the future," answered the Doctor. "We were tracing the crack in time and space, which is still developing. If the TARDIS causes it, it hasn't started doing so yet."

The Doctor landed the TARDIS, which materialized on Earth.

"Welcome home," said the Doctor. "Unfortunately, this is our last journey."

"Why?" asked Yumi. "Are you going to try to stop the fracture without me?"

"No," said the Doctor. "I'm going to destroy the TARDIS. It's the only way to prevent the damage it has yet to cause. I'm so sorry that you weren't able to find competitive Go players in outer space."

"So now I have to keep suppressing my strength?" asked Yumi.

"Actually, I think you could put it to some good use," said the Doctor. "With your ability you could guide the rest of the human race to a higher level of Go."

"But what about you?" asked Yumi. "Will you be stuck on Earth?"

"I'm afraid so," said the Doctor. "I've been traveling through time and space for 900 years of my life, and I could keep on living for who knows how much longer. I don't think I could cope with a life confined on one planet."

"So what will you do?" asked Yumi.

"I'm going to transform myself into a human. I've done this before with a Chameleon Arc." The Doctor showed Yumi a fob watch. "All my biological data goes into this watch, along with my mind, leaving my body with all of its cells rewritten."

"Hang on," said Yumi. "If your mind is being transferred into that watch, does that mean..."

"My body loses my memories," finished the Doctor. "Once the transformation is complete, my human brain will be in a sort of trance for...let's make it 15 minutes. I'll have just enough motor control to stand up and follow you far enough away.

"Once the 15 minutes are up, my human consciousness will wake up with a set of memories of my false history as Yamada Taro. I'll be all set to blend into a new life. I'll be subtle enough so that nobody will wonder how a new citizen popped into existence.

"At about the same time, the TARDIS's timer will go off and it will detonate. Don't worry; we're in an abandoned warehouse. It won't do anyone any damage. It may attract some investigation, but we can't help that. Any questions?"

"What's the point of removing your memories?"

"A human brain cannot contain a Time Lord mind. Your brain comes as close as it can get to containing that kind of power. I can set my human brain to have the same kind of power, but I can't go any further. I could even play competitive Go with you."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Yumi and Taro were at a safe distance from the warehouse. The fob watch was in Taro's pocket. Yumi looked back, wishing it didn't have to end like this.

BOOM!

The two people were still reasonably close to the warehouse. Fortunately, it didn't explode so much as collapse.

"What was that?" asked Taro, who had just broken out of his trance.

"It looks like that abandoned warehouse just collapsed," answered Yumi.

"Yes, I can see that," responded Taro. "But what caused it?"

"Maybe the construction crew is making way for a new building," suggested Yumi.

In the distance, Yumi and Taro could faintly hear police sirens.

"Or, maybe not," said Yumi. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

Yumi found herself walking distance from her house. However, when she got there, she saw someone else's car in the parking lot.

Feeling a bit confused, she walked up to the front door and looked at the sign that was supposed to say "Yamada" on it. Instead it said "Matsumoto," indicating that the Matsumoto family lived here.

Yumi checked the street address. It was definitely her house. ___The Doctor must have landed in the wrong year, _she thought.

A woman from inside the house opened the door. "Can I help you?" she asked Yumi.

"Um, yeah," said Yumi. "Can you direct me to the nearest hotel?"

"Down that street, take a left at the second intersection," said Matsumoto-san. "Walk one block and you'll find a train station. Take the subway two stops outbound. There's a hotel in plain sight."

"Thank you," said Yumi, bowing. She knew this information already, but she needed an excuse to explain why she was standing on a stranger's doorstep.

___I might as well go to a hotel,_thought Yumi. ___I have to live somewhere._

On her way to the subway Yumi stopped by a newspaper stand. She bent over for a closer look at the front page. She read the date.

___1991?_she thought. ___That's two years before I was born! I mean, will be born._

Yumi had more than enough money for a ticket to the subway. The hotel, on the other hand, would be a lot more expensive.

___I have a ____cred____it card with me, _she thought, ___but it's useless until my younger self in the future creates an account and registers the card._

Yumi then remembered the Sonic Screwdriver. ___The Doctor said it could open locks, including digital locks. But if I use it to take money from an ATM machine, I'll be a thief. At least I'm not stealing from a person in particular, since the money in everyone's account is recorded digitally. It still feels like stealing, though._

Once Yumi got off the subway, she found the nearest ATM machine, pointed the Sonic Screwdriver at it and concentrated. The machine jumped to the conclusion that Yumi was an administrator, and the screen prompted her for an amount of money.

___I'm not stealing this, _she thought. ___I'm borrowing it. Once the other me meets the Doctor and disappears, I could use the Sonic Screwdriver secretly to deduct from my account the amount of money that I took. Only problem is, I'll have to wait 19 years. Durring that time a stay at the hotel will cost way more than the amount of money I'll have in my account._

Yumi "withdrew" 30,000 yen. ___That should last me in the hotel for now. I'll keep this up long enough to take the exam to become a professional Go player. Or I could use the psychic paper. No, that will only work until they check the records of pros and realize that I'm not on it._

* * *

Yumi registered her citizenship with a new Social Security Number. She used her real name, since Yamada and Yumi are both common names in Japan. She had a few documents such that it didn't matter that they were printed in the future. For the rest, she used the psychic paper. And, of course, she claimed to have been born in 1974.

Over the next week, Yumi booked a hotel room (on the first day, of course), opened a bank account, "retook" the driving test and applied to take the pro exam.

* * *

"You look familiar," said Yamada Taro as he ran into Yumi at the pro exam preliminaries. "Did I run into you a week ago when I saw some warehouse collapse?"

"Yeah, that was me," said Yumi. "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Yamada Yumi."

"I'm Yamada Taro," said Taro. "The funny thing is, I brought up the warehouse incident to another woman who looked a lot like you, but a little older. Her name is Yamakawa Masako. She didn't know what I was talking about."

"Did you say...Yamakawa Masako?" asked Yumi.

"That's right," said Taro. "Do you know her?"

"I think I've heard that name before," said Yumi. ___That's my mother's name, _she thought. ___And in my time, people always tell me how much I look like her. This is getting to be too much of a coincidence._

* * *

The two applicants named Yamada both won their first two games in the preliminaries. Yumi had won both her games by half a point. She noticed that Taro had done the same.

___The Doctor may have made himself human, _thought Yumi, ___but he hasn't changed that much._

Yumi and Taro ended up playing each other in the third round. Yumi was prepared for Taro's strength, and therefore played with her full strength. Taro, on the other hand, underestimated Yumi, and started playing her the way he had played his first two opponents. By the time he realized he should have been playing with his full strength, it was too late. Yumi had gained a lead, which she kept throughout the game.

Now Yumi had won three games, and therefore qualified for the final examination without playing the last two rounds of the preliminaries. Taro, on the other hand, had to proceed to the fourth round. Yumi was confident that Taro would win the fourth round and qualify without playing the fifth.

"I'll see you in the final exam," said Yumi to Taro. "Please don't underestimate me again."

"I won't underestimate you," said the Doctor. "On the other hand, if I lose the last two rounds of the preliminaries, I won't make it to the finals."

"That's not going to happen," said Yumi. "I've looked at everyone else's game history. They're strong, but they're no match for you."

"They're no match for you either," said Taro.

"Maybe, but I don't like to brag," said Yumi, blushing a little.

* * *

When Yumi and Taro played each other in the final exam, they went all out on each other. Yumi discovered that Taro didn't seem to have the same weakness that the Doctor had when he got attached to his stones. On the other hand, he wasn't quite as strong as the Doctor, though he was still by far stronger than any other human professional, except Yumi.

When it was time for lunch, Yumi and Taro's game was in the middle of an intense battle. It was impossible to determine who would win at the end.

Yumi and Taro went to the same restaurant for lunch. Yumi saw Taro at the front of the line with a woman ordering with him.

"That'll be a total of 1535 yen for both of you," said the cashier.

"It's all on me," said Taro.

Soon afterward, Yumi reached the front of the line and purchased her food.

"Hey, Yamada-chan," said Taro. "Would you like to join us?"

"Sure," said Yumi. "Thanks, Yamada-san."

Yumi sat down with Yamada Taro and the woman he was apparently dating. She looked a lot like Yumi, only a bit older.

"Yamada-chan, this is Yamakawa Masako, the woman I mentioned to you earlier," said Taro. "Yamakawa-san, this is Yamada Yumi, the girl whom I ran into earlier. I mentioned her to you thinking you were her."

"Pleased to meet you," said Yumi and Masako together.

___This is officially not a coincidence, _thought Yumi. ___These are my parents. And my dad is the Doctor - or at least he was._

"I see what you mean," said Masako. "Yamada-chan does look a lot like me, but younger."

"Except for her eyes," commented Taro. "Those eyes look somewhat older than the rest of her."

"Do you really think so?" asked Yumi.

"Well, sort of," admitted Taro. "You're eyes don't exactly look old, so much as sharp."

"So do yours," said Yumi. It was true; Taro's eyes were different from the Doctor's 900-year-old eyes. They looked exactly like the eyes Yumi saw when she looked in a mirror.

"What do my eyes look like?" asked Masako.

"Beautiful," said Taro. "And strong," he added. "Strong enough to be unshaken by an earthquake of magnitude 10."

___That's not like the Masako I know as my mother, _thought Yumi. ___All my life she looked like she had been badly broken by something. Was it my father's death? Come to think of it, my mother never told me how he died. If only I knew, maybe I could stop it._

* * *

After lunch, the two Yamadas (who actually were realted) continued their game. They were evenly matched in strength. At the end of this game, Taro managed to beat Yumi by a point and a half.

Shortly before the end of the exam tournament, Yamada Taro had no losses and enough wins to pass the exam even if he lost all of his remaining games (as if that could happen). Yumi was one win away from the same situation, with only one loss against Taro (obviously).

"Congratulations on passing," said Yumi.

"I have no doubt that you'll do the same, Yamada-chan," said Taro. "Good luck."

"Do you mind calling me 'Yumi'?" asked Yumi. "It just feels really weird when you call me 'Yamada-chan'."

"Why? Because my name is also Yamada?" asked Taro.

"Partly," said Yumi. "But also because you look so much like my father."

"In that case," said Taro, "for me to call you 'Yumi' would be like you calling me 'Chichi' (Dad). And you can't do that."

"You're right," said Yumi. "I can't."

"You know, I don't think you're being entirely honest with me," said Taro. "You're hiding something."

"You could tell, couldn't you?" said Yumi.

"I sure can," said Taro. "You said I looked sharp."

"All right," said Yumi, "you got me. But the truth is too unbelievable."

"Try me," said Taro.

"Okay," said Yumi. "Sooner or later you will marry Yamakawa Masako. In two years, you two will have a daughter. 17 years later, your daughter will jump 19 years backwards in time to a couple of months ago."

"And that's you?" said Taro.

"Yes," said Yumi. "I told you it was unbelievable."

"But I believe you," said Taro. "You looked and sounded very sincere. Besides, it does check out. You look so much like my girlfriend, but you have my eyes.

"But you still shouldn't call me 'Dad' in public. And I probably should avoid calling you 'Yumi' in front of Yamakawa."

"You could call her 'Masako,' just to be fair," said Yumi.

* * *

Once Yumi was a pro (again, sort of), she was able to make sufficient money to support her stay at the hotel without the Sonic Screwdriver.

After some time, Yumi was able to repay the money that she had secretly borrowed. She inserted her new credit card into an ATM machine and made a withdrawal. She then used the Sonic Screwdriver to lock the money slot so that the money wouldn't come out, but the machine wouldn't complain that it was jammed. When she was done, she reset the slot so that it would work normally.

* * *

Yumi made sure to attend her parents' wedding on April 1992. She hadn't told her father that he didn't have much longer to live. She didn't have the heart to tell him. And her mother still didn't know who she was.

Seven months later, everything went wrong. It all started one fateful November morning when Yumi entered the elevator of the Nihon-Kiin for her professional Go matches. Another professional who wasn't acquainted with Yumi entered the elevator with her.

"Why are we going to the basement?" asked the man.

"I think the elevator's been hijacked," said Yumi. She took the Sonic Screwdriver out of her pocket and tried to use it to override the elevator.

"What's that thing?" asked her companion.

"It's useless, that's what it is," said Yumi.

When the elevator arrived in the basement, the doors opened. Yumi saw a group of metal creatures waiting for her.

"WE - ON-LY - NEED - ONE - HOS-TAGE!" they screamed with an unforgettable air of hatred through every syllable. "EX-TER-MI-NATE - THE - SPARE!"

One of the creatures shot the man next to Yumi with a laser gun attached to its body. His skin glowed and became transparent, revealing his bones. When the laser turned off, the man's appearance returned to normal, and he collapsed to the floor, dead.

"What do you want with me, Daleks?" asked Yumi.

"HOW - DO - YOU - KNOW - US?" demanded one of the Daleks.

"How could I forget you?" replied Yumi. "You invaded Earth and took prisoners from all over the world! Wait - that hasn't happened yet."

"THIS - TOPIC - IS - IR-RE-LE-VANT!" said a Dalek. "WE - WILL - CON-TIN-UE - WITH - THE - DA-LEK - STRA-TE-GEM! SET - LA-SER - TO - STUN - MODE! WE - NEED - YOU - ALIVE!"

The Dalek shot Yumi with a weak laser beam. She fell to the floor, unconscious.

* * *

Yamada Taro was scheduled for a match with Yumi today. When she didn't show up, he won by forfeit. Worried, he called her hotel.

"Could you please redirect me to the phone in room 555?" he asked.

"Sure thing, sir," said the hotel operator.

"Come on, Yumi, pick up!" whispered Taro.

"I-DEN-TI-FY - YOUR-SELF!" said a nasty voice that was definitely not Yumi's.

"This is Yamada Taro. Is Yumi there?"

"NE-GA-TIVE! YOUR - OFF-SPRING - IS - OUR - HOS-TAGE! YOU - WILL - MEET - US - AT - THE - SITE - OF - THE - WARE-HOUSE - THAT - COL-LAPSED - ONE - YEAR - A-GO! IF - YOU - DO - NOT - O-BEY - THEN - SHE - WILL - BE - EX-TER-MI-NA-TED!"

"Let me talk to her!" demanded Taro.

"DA-LEKS - DO - NOT - O-BEY - HU-MAN - OR-DERS!"

"I need to know that you haven't already killed her!"

"VE-RY - WELL. O-PEN - SE-CON-DA-RY - COM-MU-NI-CA-TION - LINK!"

"Yumi!"

"Dad?"

"Yumi, are you alright?"

"Don't worry about me, Dad. This is about more than me. The Daleks must want you to try to save me so that they can destroy the universe. Our only hope is for you to forget about me."

"Yumi, you mean more to me than the universe, and you haven't even been born yet!" argued Taro.

"CEASE - TALK-ING! YOU - HAVE - YOUR - PROOF! YOU - HAVE - ONE - HOUR - TO - MEET - US - AT - THE - DE-SIG-NA-TED - LO-CA-TION!"

The Daleks hung up. Furious, Taro dialed the number for the house that he and Masako had recently bought from the Matsumoto family.

"Masako!" said Taro. "I need the car. It's important!"

"What's the problem?" asked Masako.

"I'll explain later. Can you drive over to the Kiin within half an hour?"

"Okay," she said.

Only ten minutes later, Taro met his wife in the parking lot.

"Masako, can I ask you to wait here? I should do this on my own."

"Absolutely not!" retorted Masako.

"Masako, this is dangerous," he said.

"I can handle it," said Masako. "I can stay unshaken by an earthquake of magnitude 10, remember?"

"This is so much worse than any earthquake," said Taro. "This is about the life or death of our daughter."

Masako looked down at her pregnant body. "How do you know our baby is a girl?"

"Because I've seen her future," he said. "I know it's hard to believe, but when she's 17 years old, she'll jump back in time to about one year ago. I've already met her."

"You mean Yumi?" asked Masako.

"How did you guess?" asked Taro.

"We've already noticed how much she looks like me, but with your eyes," said Masako. "It was pretty obvious. But yes, it's also incredibly difficult to believe."

"But do you believe me?" asked Taro.

"Yes," answered Masako. "I may not be as sharp as you are, so I can't tell when just anybody is lying. But you're my husband. All this time I knew there was something about Yumi that you weren't telling me. You sound more sincere now than you ever did."

"Good," said Taro. "Now our daughter from the future is in grave danger. I'm off to save her."

"I've already told you that you're not going anywhere without me!" replied Masako.

* * *

Yumi was contained in a force-field in the front yard of the debris that was left of the warehouse. There was a giant flying saucer hovering overhead.

Yumi and the Daleks saw a car driving towards them.

"SEN-SORS - IN-DI-CATE - THAT - THE - HOS-TA-GE'S FA-THER - IS - IN - THE - VE-HI-CLE!" said a Dalek. "GRANT - CLEAR-ANCE!"

"WHAT - A-BOUT - HIS - FE-MALE - COM-PAN-ION?" asked another Dalek.

"That's my mother!" said Yumi. "And she's three months pregnant with my past self. You can't kill her!"

"COR-RECT! SHE - WILL - BE - SPARED!"

Yumi's parents got out of the car. "I've done exactly what you said in only twenty minutes," said Taro. "Now what?"

"NOW - YOU - ARE - NO - LON-GER - NEE-DED! WE - NEED - THE - DOC-TOR!"

"Doctor who?" asked Taro.

One of the Daleks turned to face Yumi. "EX-PLAIN - TO - HIM!" he ordered.

"The Doctor is an alien from another world," explained Yumi. "And he has time-traveling technology. I was his passenger. He took me to see many worlds in many time periods. But when he took me to this point in time, he had to make himself human and stop traveling through time. He rewrote his biology and erased his memory - no, not erased - removed. His alien memories were stored somewhere else while his human brain was given memories of a false past."

"And the Daleks need that human to turn back into the Doctor," said Taro. "They said I'm no longer useful, but they haven't killed me. Does that mean...?"

"Yes," said Yumi sadly. "You're the Doctor."

"I'm a fake?" said Taro. "Yamada Taro is a fake?"

"No, you're not a fake!" said Yumi, starting to shed tears. "You're real enough to be my father!"

"CEASE - TALK-ING! YA-MA-DA - TA-RO - WILL - BE-COME - THE - DOC-TOR! AC-TI-VATE - TE-LE-PORT!"

Seemingly out of thin air, a fob watch materialized at Taro's feet.

"Where did you get that?" said Yumi.

"YA-MA-DA - TA-RO - SHOULD - BE - MORE - CARE-FUL - WITH - HIS - POS-SES-SIONS! HE - WILL - O-PEN - THE - WATCH - AND - RE-LEASE - THE - DOC-TOR!"

"But then what happens to my mind?" asked Taro.

"YOUR - HU-MAN - PER-SON-AL-I-TY - WILL - BE - DE-STROYED - FOR-E-VER!"

"Dad, don't do it!" demanded Yumi. "Don't die!"

"Yumi, it's either you or me," said Taro.

"No it isn't!" cried Yumi. "I told you, if you obey the Daleks, they'll destroy the entire universe!"

"And I told you," argued Taro, picking up the watch, "that my own daughter means more to me than the entire universe."

"Mom!" cried Yumi. "Help back me up here, please!"

"I don't know what to do," said Masako, starting to look like the broken mother Yumi was familiar with. "I don't want to see either of you die. How am I supposed to decide between you?"

"You're not," said Taro. "The decision is mine. And I've decided. Good bye, Yumi. Goodbye, Masako." His hands shook as they moved towards the latch to open the fob watch.

"Dad, no!" screamed Yumi.

"Doctor," said Taro to the watch in his shaking hands, "promise me you'll save Yumi. I can't do anything. The rest is up to you." He forced the watch open, showing great fear contrasted by great will power. A burst of energy shot from the fob watch towards Taro, pulsing through his body.

"DAAAAAAAD!" screamed Yumi.

The last of the energy left the watch, and the light in Taro's body died down.

"Taro?" said Masako.

"Doctor?" said Yumi.

"You don't look very happy to see me," said the Doctor.

"Well...I...uh..." stuttered Yumi.

"It's all right, I understand," said the Doctor. He then turned on the Daleks. "You'd better have a ___damn _good reason for bringing me here! I don't want to find out that you've come all this way for nothing!"

"THE - DOCTOR - WILL - RE-LIN-QUISH - AD-MI-NIS-TRA-TIVE - CON-TROL - OF - THE - TAR-DIS - TO - THE - DA-LEKS!"

"Sorry, not damn good enough," said the Doctor angrily. "I destroyed the TARDIS."

"IN-COR-RECT!" said a Dalek. "O-PEN - VI-SU-AL - LINK!"

A two-dimensional screen appeared in mid-air, showing the TARDIS inside an alien spacecraft.

"But I saw the warehouse collapse!" said Yumi.

"THAT - WAS - THE - WORK - OF - DA-LEKS! WE - RE-MOVED - THE - TAR-DIS. WE - THEN - DES-TROYED - THE - BUIL-DING - TO - MAIN-TAIN - THE - IL-LU-SION!"

"But you still couldn't have canceled the TARDIS's detonation program without getting inside," said the Doctor.

A Dalek appeared on the visual link, with a chain hanging from its plunger-shaped arm. On the end of the chain was a TARDIS key.

"Yeah, my human alter-ego really needed to take better care of his possessions."

"But by the time you stole the key, the TARDIS should have already exploded," said Yumi.

"Actually," explained the Doctor, "Daleks can travel through time as well."

"In that case, why do they want the TARDIS?" asked Yumi.

"Because Dalek time-travel technology is far more taxing than the TARDIS," answered the Doctor.

"THE - DOC-TOR - AND - THE - HOS-TAGE - WILL - BOARD!"

"So this is it?" cried Masako. "This is what the next 18 years has in store for my daughter?"

"No," said the Doctor. "No, this isn't it. I won't let Yumi die. I'll protect her, no matter what the cost. That's a promise."

"O-PEN - TE-LE-PORT!"

Yumi and the Doctor felt themselves being beamed into the flying saucer overhead. They heard one last scream from Masako.

"YUMIIIIIII!"

* * *

___To Be Continued..._


	5. Salvation in Hell

___I still do not own Doctor Who. Doctor who is the work of the BBC._

* * *

"Well, that's one part of the mystery solved," said the Doctor. "We now know where your anomaly brain comes from."

"We also know how the universe is about to be destroyed," added Yumi.

"But there's still one thing I don't understand," said the Doctor. "Why did the wound in time start with the game of Go?"

"THIS - CON-VER-SA-TION - IS - IR-RE-LE-VANT!" screamed a Dalek.

"You're right," said the Doctor. "It's completely irrelevant."

Yumi was confused for a second, but she then realized what the Doctor was up to. Go was significantly relevant, but if they told that to the Daleks then they would start to get interested, and that would be a bad idea.

"Right, on to business," said the Doctor. "It's pretty obvious what you Daleks are planning. The TARDIS and I are linked. You want me to break the link and reform one between the TARDIS and the Daleks. Then you can scan the entire time line and snuff out all non-Dalek life in its most primitive stage of evolution, right as it emerges."

_"COR-RECT!" _screamed all the Daleks together.

"And why would the Doctor agree to all this?" asked Yumi.

"BE-CAUSE - IF - HE - DOES - NOT - THEN - YOU - WILL - BE - EX-TER-MI-NA-TED!" screamed one of the Daleks.

"But that implies that if he does obey, then you'll spare me," said Yumi.

"COR-RECT!"

"Why should we believe you?" asked Yumi.

"DA-LEKS - ARE - NOT - O-BLIGED - TO - AN-SWER - HU-MAN - QUES-TIONS!"

"I'll take that to mean that we shouldn't belive you," said Yumi. "Doctor, I'm going to die one way or the other, which throws me completely out of the equation. The only thing left you can do is save the universe."

"DA-LEKS - HAVE - FOR-MU-LA-TED - MUL-TI-PLE - STRA-TE-GIES - TO - TAKE - OUR - RIGHT-FUL - PLACE - AS - THE - SU-PREME - BE-INGS - OF - THE - U-NI-VERSE! SO - FAR - THEY - HAVE - ALL - FAILED, BUT - WE - HAVE - NE-VER BEEN - DE-FEA-TED! WE - AL-WAYS - MAIN-TAINED - E-NOUGH - IN-SU-RANCE - TO - MOVE - ON - TO - THE - NEXT - PLAN! CRE-DI-BI-LI-TY - IS - ONE - SUCH - IN-SU-RANCE!"

"Nice try," said Yumi, "but there's a major flaw in your excuse: If the Doctor helps you succeed, then you'll no longer have any use for insurance."

"Good point," said the Doctor. "I think it's time I made a proposal. I can give the Daleks the salvation that they've been searching for all this time, but in exchange, I'll make it impossible for them to kill Yumi."

___"HOW?" _screamed the Daleks in unison.

"You ___were_going to kill her no matter what!" said the Doctor. "Come on, admit it!"

"EX-PLAIN - YOUR - PRO-PO-SAL!" screamed one of the Daleks.

"Think of the TARDIS's causal nexus in three phases: A, B and C," said the Doctor. "Phase A: The TARDIS, right here, right now. Phase B: I've just configured the TARDIS so that it's ready for takeoff, piloted by Daleks. Phase C: You destroy the universe and spend the rest of your lives in Dalek salvation.

"My plan is to quantum-lock the rest of Yumi's lifespan in phase C with the TARDIS in phase B. In other words, if you kill her in phase C, all the work you did to get there gets undone, because it never happened, because the TARDIS ceased to exist in phase B."

"BUT - SHE - WILL - DIE - E-VEN-TU-AL-LY, NO - MAT-TER - WHAT! SHE - IS - MOR-TAL!"

"I know," said the Doctor. "The quantum link will exist between the TARDIS and Yumi's life force itself. As her life force drains, she'll let go of the link, little by little. But if you end her life even one second too early while the link is stll there, the phase B TARDIS will be destroyed. Are we clear?"

The Daleks pondered over this idea for a few seconds. ___"PRO-PO-SAL - AC-CEP-TED!"_

"Doctor, don't do this!" said Yumi. "Just let me die if it will save the universe!"

"I can't do that," said the Doctor.

"Yes you can!" said Yumi. "You did everything you could to save Shusaku's life, even though he was supposed to die. You even tried to destroy the TARDIS to save the universe. You've taken so many drastic measures to defy the future. Why give up now?"

"Because I made a promise to both of your parents, on your father's deathbed," answered the Doctor. "And I am bound by that promise."

"Well I'm not," said Yumi stubbornly. "I appreciate how important you think I am, but I can make my own decisions."

"Yumi, don't you ___dare_kill yourself!" said the Doctor. "I'm counting on you to be strong and get through this. You'll need to summon more strength than your mother could. Understand?"

"Not entirely," said Yumi.

"You will, eventually," said the Doctor.

"PRO-CEED - WITH - THE - O-PER-A-TION!"

* * *

"The quantum lock is now in place," announced the Doctor. "I am now ready to transfer administrative pilot control."

Yumi, the Doctor and the Daleks were gathered together inside the TARDIS. Yumi was heavily guarded by Daleks, in case she or the Doctor tried to pull a fast one.

"It's all yours," said the Doctor.

"PRE-PARE - DI-AG-NOS-TIC - SCAN - FOR - TRAPS!"

* * *

"SCAN - COM-PLETE! NO - TRAPS - DE-TEC-TED! THE - DOC-TOR - HAS - CO-OP-ER-A-TED - PER-FEC-TLY, BUT - HE - IS - NO - LON-GER - OF - USE! EX-TER-MI-NATE!"

The Doctor stood passively as a Dalek shot him with a laser beam. He then collapsed to the ground, dead.

"DOCTOR!" screamed Yumi.

"TAKE - THE - BO-DY - TO - BE - IN-CIN-ER-A-TED! DO - NOT - WASTE - TIME!"

"Waste time?" said Yumi. "What could that possibly mean? He's dead!"

"THE - DOC-TOR - IS - A - TIME - LORD! IF - HIS - BO-DY - IS - LEFT - A-LONE - HE - WILL - RE-GEN-ER-ATE!"

"Regenerate?"

"HE - WILL - COME - BACK - TO - LIFE!"

"I know what it means!" said Yumi.

The Daleks who had taken the Doctor's body returned to the TARDIS door. "IN-CIN-ER-A-TION - COM-PLETE!"

All but one of the Daleks vacated the TARDIS. The remaining Dalek manned the TARDIS controls.

"NOW - FLAG-GING - EARTH - TIME - FOL-LOW-ING - DE-PAR-TURE - OF - YA-MA-DA - YU-MI - AND - THE - DOC-TOR! SCAN - EARTH - HIS-TO-RY BE-FORE - THAT - TIME - FOR - ALL - A-LI-EN - CON-TACT - BE-FORE - THAT - TIME! FOR - EACH - PLA-NET - IN-VOLVED, FLAG - TIME - ON - THAT - PLA-NET - FOL-LOW-ING CON-TACT! IF - A - PLA-NET - IS - FLAGGED MUL-TI-PLE - TIMES, LA-TER - FLAGS - TAKE - PRI-OR-I-TY! RE-PEAT - PRO-CESS - RE-CUR-SIVE-LY - ON - EACH - PLA-NET!"

"Doesn't that process take exponential time?" asked Yumi.

"TIME - IS - NOT - AN - IS-SUE - IN - THE - TAR-DIS! RE-PEAT - PRO-CESS - ON - DA-LEK - HOME-WORLD - SCA-RO!"

A flat screen on the TARDIS control panel flashed with the word "ERROR" in big red letters.

"Hah!" said Yumi. "The Doctor said that he fought you in the time war. If his planet is sealed in a time lock, I'll bet yours is as well."

"DA-LEK - ME-MO-RY - RE-CALLS - HIS-TO-RY - OF - SCA-RO! PRO-CESS - FIRST - STEP - OF - RE-CUR-SIVE - FUNC-TION - MAN-U-AL-LY!"

Suddenly, another TARDIS flew past this one, nearly colliding.

The Dalek turned to face Yumi and pointed his gun at her. "EX-PLAIN!"

"That was the Doctor and me from the past," said Yumi.

"WE - TOLD - THE - DOC-TOR - NOT - TO - IN-TER-FERE!"

"He's not interfering!" said Yumi. "That was us before we met you and made the deal."

The Dalek turned back to the controls of the TARDIS. "NOW - FOR - THE - EA-SY - PART! FLAG - ALL - RE-MAIN-ING - PLA-NETS - AT - TIME - OF - CRE-A-TION! EX-TER-MI-NATE - ALL - PLA-NETS - AT - DE-SIG-NA-TED - TIMES!"

The TARDIS materialized back on the Daleks' flying saucer, which was the only object left in the otherwise empty universe. Yumi looked out the window in despair as she saw the hell that the rest of her life would be.

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

___The Doctor was trying to tell me something, _thought Yumi. ___I have to be strong. But what am I supposed to do?_

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

* * *

___This is probably one of the shortest chapters in this fanfic so far. I just wanted to make sure that it ended in a cliffhanger._

___To Be Continued..._


	6. Reborn from the Ashes

___I - STILL - DO - NOT - OWN - DOC-TOR - WHO! DOC-TOR - WHO - IS - THE - WORK - OF - THE - DA-LEKS... I - MEAN - THE - B-B-C! A-NY-ONE - WHO - CHAR-GES - ME - WITH - CO-PY-RIGHT - IN-FRINGE-MENT - WILL - BE - EX-TER-MI-NA-TED!_

* * *

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

Yumi had lost count of how many times the Daleks had said that line after 408 times.

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

___I have to be strong, _thought Yumi. ___I have to think of something. This isn't the end._

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

"Enjoying your paradise?" Yumi asked the Dalek who was guarding her.

"DA-LEKS - HAVE - NO - CON-CEPT - OF - EN-JOY-MENT!"

"Well, that's a pity," said Yumi. "What meaning do your lives have? Of course, there are many more emotions to experience in life besides enjoyment, but I bet that Daleks have no concept of any of them."

"DA-LEKS - MUST - SUR-VIVE! IT - IS - A - DRIVE - THAT - ALL - SPE-CIES - HAVE - IN - COM-MON!"

"Since when is survival the same thing as supremacy? Why do you have to be the only surviving species?"

"THAT - IS - DA-LEK - IN-STINCT! O-THER - LIFE-FORMS - CAN-NOT - BE - TRUS-TED - TO - LIVE!"

"Maybe, but the Doctor told me that you were genetically engineered."

"COR-RECT! WE - WERE - CRE-A-TED - BY - DAV-ROS! WHAT - IS - YOUR - POINT?"

"My point is that you think that the only way to survive is to be alone in the universe, essentially because Davros told you that," explained Yumi.

"LOOK - A-ROUND - YOU!" argued the Dalek. "WE - HAVE - A-CHIEVED - OUR - GOAL! WE - ARE - GUAR-AN-TEED - SUR-VI-VAL!"

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

___I can't argue with that, _thought Yumi. ___But I can't give up now. I'm powerless to fight the Daleks, so my only hope is to reason with them. What if..._

___No. No way. That's a silly idea. But it just might work._

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

"So is that how the Daleks are going to spend the rest of their lives?" asked Yumi. "Saying the same three sentences over and over again?"

"A - DA-LEK'S - ON-LY - DRIVE - HAS - AL-WAYS - BEEN - TO - EX-TER-MI-NATE - ALL - E-NE-MIES! WE - HAVE - NE-VER - KNOWN - A-NY - O-THER - DRIVE!"

"Well, now that you're victorious, you should probably develop a new pastime."

"WE - WILL - DE-VE-LOP - IT - IN - DUE - TIME!"

"Good luck with that," said Yumi. "Where will you start?"

The Dalek had no answer to that. All was silent except for the other Daleks chanting away.

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

"I can give you some pointers," said Yumi. "Back home on Earth, I had plenty of stuff to do when I wasn't busy exterminating my enemies - which was all the time, because that was never on my agenda."

"EX-PLAIN!"

"I made a living playing professional Go. That's what I was doing when the Daleks first kidnapped me and took me hostage."

"I - AM - A-WARE - OF - THAT - GAME! I - HAVE - OB-SERVED - YOUR - AC-TI-VI-TY - WHILE - PRE-PAR-ING - FOR - YOUR - AB-DUC-TION!"

"So you know the rules?"

"AF-FIR-MA-TIVE!"

"Would you like to play against me?"

"GAMES - ARE - A - MEA-NING-LESS - WASTE - OF - TIME!"

"More meaningless than a Dalek's life with no enemies to exterminate?" asked Yumi.

The Dalek guarding Yumi was silent.

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN - SU-PREME! DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

"I think there's a Go board in the TARDIS," said Yumi.

Yumi stepped into the TARDIS. The Dalek elevated himself above the ground, then glided through the TARDIS door.

Yumi prepared a Go board on the TARDIS floor. "If you've never played before, you should probably take a handicap."

"DA-LEKS - ARE - SU-PREME! I - WILL - NOT - BE - OUT-PER-FORMED!"

"I guess that explains why you like to talk so technically."

"AF-FIR-MA-TIVE!"

"I guess we'll play an even game," said Yumi. "In that case, we should choose for color. Do you know how to nigiri?"

"COR-RECT!"

The Dalek lowered his plunger-like manipulator arm into a bowl of white stones. The stones were sucked into the plunger. Yumi grabbed two black stones and hovered her hand over the board.

The Dalek dropped his stones onto the board, and Yumi dropped hers. Yumi then separated the Dalek's white stones into groups of two, and found one left over. Since the Dalek had an odd number of stones and Yumi had two, the Dalek played black.

Yumi took the bowl of white stones and handed the bowl of black stones to the Dalek. She then bowed. "Onegaishimasu."

"DO - YOU - EXPECT - ME - TO - RE-PEAT - THE - GREE-TING?"

"That would be polite," said Yumi.

"DA-LEKS - HAVE - NO - RE-SPECT - FOR - HU-MANS!"

"I was afraid of that," said Yumi.

Yumi was surprised at how well the Dalek was able to play his first game. His genetically engineered mind must have been designed perfectly for analysis. But there was one major flaw in the Dalek's strategy.

It was obvious to Yumi that the Dalek was doing everything he could to prevent Yumi's stones from forming life. The Dalek's framework was as well designed as possible for the purpose of killing Yumi's framework. But it wasn't good enough. Yumi was able to form life, and the Dalek's framework fell apart.

"THIS - IS - IN-CON-CEI-VA-BLE! I - HAVE - BEEN - DE-FEA-TED!"

"This is only your first game," said Yumi. "Practice makes perfect."

One game later, the result was essentially the same.

"You seem very determined to kill all my stones," explained Yumi. "You've come closer to achieving that than anyone else I've played. But that's not the object of the game."

"EX-PLAIN!"

"The object of the game is to have as much life on the board as possible. You can't win if you focus too much on keeping my life at zero. You have to let me live. The important thing is for you to have more life than I do."

"I - WILL - EX-PER-I-MENT - THIS - STRA-TE-GY!"

At the end of the third game, The Dalek had made an impressive amount of territory on the board. But Yumi had significantly more territory.

"___This - stra-te-gy - still - did - not - work!_" said the Dalek. Yumi noticed that the Dalek's tone of hatred in his voice was dying down.

"You've made huge progress," complimented Yumi. "The thing to remember is that sometimes two opposing groups of stones do have to fight each other for life or death. It is important to judge when to fight and when to move on."

In the fourth game, the Dalek had made even more territory than in his last game. But Yumi still came out on top.

"What - did - I - do - wrong - this - time?" asked the Dalek.

"You judged very accurately when my groups were dead. But you proceeded to spend unnecessary moves capturing them. If it's unconditionally dead, capturing it is as pointless as me trying to make it escape and live."

"That - makes - sense," said the Dalek. This time there was no screaming tone of hatred in its voice. Yumi remembered Dalek voices to be devoid of all emotion except hatred. This Dalek's voice was completely emotionless.

The Dalek took all of Yumi's advice into account during the fifth game - and this time, it payed off more than ever. The Dalek came out with significantly more territory than Yumi.

"I - un-der-stand - now," said the Dalek. "So-li-tude - is - not - the - an-swer. Our - in-stincts - were - wrong. I - must - re-lay - this - in-for-ma-tion - to - the - o-ther - Da-leks."

The Dalek vacated the TARDIS and looked around, remembering the situation the universe was in.

___"DA-LEKS - REIGN – SU-PREME!" __chanted the other Daleks. ____"DA-LEKS - ARE - VIC-TOR-I-OUS! ALL - HAIL - THE - DA-LEKS!"_

"We - are - a-lone - in - the - u-ni-verse. But - this - is - not - the - an-swer. WHAT - HAVE - WE - DONE?"

"IS - THERE - A - PROB-LEM?" asked another Dalek.

"No," denied the Dalek who had played Go with Yumi five times. "Ne-ga-tive. E-ver-y-thing - is - un-der - con-trol." He returned to the TARDIS, closed the door and fired up the engine.

"WHERE - ARE - YOU - GOING?" asked the other Dalek as the TARDIS faded and disappeared.

"Good question," commented Yumi. "Where are we going?"

"We - are - stay-ing - right - here," said the Dalek.

"I see," said Yumi. "When are we going?"

"We - are - go-ing - to - set - things - right," answered the Dalek. "We - must - stop - the - Da-leks - from - de-stroy-ing - the - u-ni-verse. But - first - I - need - to - ex-tra-po-late - your - D-N-A."

"How will you do that?" asked Yumi.

"Place - your - hand - on - my - ar-mor," said the Dalek.

Yumi touched the Dalek's armor, then pulled her hand away suddenly.

"Ouch!" she yelped.

"DNA extrapolation complete," announced the Dalek.

"That hurt!" said Yumi.

"I apologize," said the Dalek in a voice that actually showed remorse.

"Your voice sounds more emotional now," observed Yumi.

"That's because I processed human emotions from your DNA," explained the Dalek.

"Well, if you're going to confront the other Daleks," said Yumi, "you'll have to hide your emotions," said Yumi. "They'll never listen to you if you talk like that."

"I - UN-DER-STAND!" screamed the Dalek.

"Sorry," said Yumi. "'I understand' isn't good enough."

"AF-FIR-MA-TIVE!"

"That's better," said Yumi.

* * *

Previously...

"TAKE - THE - BO-DY - TO - BE - IN-CIN-ER-A-TED!" ordered one of the Daleks. "DO - NOT - WASTE - TIME!"

"Waste time?" said Yumi. "What could that possibly mean? He's dead!"

"THE - DOC-TOR - IS - A - TIME - LORD!" explained another Dalek. "IF - HIS - BO-DY - IS - LEFT - A-LONE - HE - WILL - RE-GEN-ER-ATE!"

Two Daleks dragged the Doctor's body to their incineration chamber. Before they got there, the future TARDIS materialized.

"THE - DOC-TOR - HAS - VI-O-LA-TED - THE - TERMS - OF - OUR - AG-REE-MENT!" screamed one of the two Daleks. "EX-TER-MI-NATE - THE - HOS-TAGE!"

"HALT!" screamed a Dalek voice from the TARDIS's external loudspeakers. "THE - DOC-TOR - IS - NOT - RES-PON-SI-BLE!"

The TARDIS door opened and the future Dalek came out. The future Yumi kept a safe distance from the door.

"I - HAVE - COME - FROM - THE - FU-TURE - THAT - WE - HAVE - CRE-A-TED!" explained Future Dalek.

"WHAT - BUSI-NESS - DO - YOU - HAVE - HERE - AND - NOW?" asked one of the Daleks.

"I - HAVE - COME - TO - WARN - YOU," said Future Dalek. "OUR - PLAN - FOR - SU-PRE-MA-CY - WILL - FAIL! IT - IS - NOT - THE - DOC-TOR'S - FAULT! WE - MIS-CAL-CU-LA-TED! WE - MADE - AN - ER-ROR! I - HAVE - COME - TO - A-MEND - THAT - ER-ROR!"

___"Ex-PLAIN - THE – ERROR!" _screamed all the Daleks from the past in unison.

"IT - IS - TOO - COM-PLI-CA-TED - FOR - WORDS!" said Future Dalek. "E-VEN - FOR - DA-LEKS! I - MUST - TRANS-FER - DA-TA DI-GI-TAL-LY!"

Future Dalek pressed his manipulator arm against a small console on the ship's control panel. The other Daleks did the same.

While this was happening, the Doctor's body started stirring. The Doctor opened his eyes, sat up and looked around.

"Transfer complete," said Future Dalek, dropping the voice acting.

"ARE - YOU - SUG-GES-TING - THAT - WE - A-BORT - OUR - PLANS - FOR - SU-PRE-MA-CY?" asked another Dalek.

"Yes, I am," said Future Dalek.

"SUG-GES-TION - RE-JEC-TED!"

"It's a little late for that," said Future Dalek. "Not only did I transfer my neural data, I also transfered Yamada Yumi's human DNA."

The Daleks stared at Future Dalek in silence for a second.

___"DAMN – IT!"_they screamed together.

"YOU - HAVE - CON-TA-MI-NA-TED - US!" screamed one of the Daleks. "WE - ARE - IM-PURE!"

"No," argued Future Dalek. "We are whole. We are complete. We have regained the parts of us that we lost."

"YOU - ARE - A - TRAI-TOR! YOU - WILL - BE - EX-TER-MI-NA-TED!"

Tens of thousands of Daleks aimed their laser guns at Future Dalek, ready to fire.

"You are making a mistake," said Future Dalek. "This is your one chance to experience a better life. It all depends on the decision you make right now."

_"EX-TER-MI-NATE!"_

Tens of thousands of Dalek laser guns activated - and backfired. All but a hundred Daleks were destroyed. The other hundred Daleks had not fired their guns.

"What did you do to them?" said the Doctor.

"When I transfered data from myself to the Daleks, I included a binary switch in the laser firing program," answered Future Dalek.

"So you killed them?" replied the Doctor, sounding upset.

"I gave them a choice for a better life. Most of them chose poorly and suffered the consequences. The rest seem to be having second thoughts."

"Dalek from the future," asked one of the Daleks from the past, "Are you sure that if we deny our instincts, then it will lead us to a better life?"

"Positive," said Future Dalek. "We are not impure. We are whole."

___"We are whole!" _agreed the other Daleks.

"Doctor!" said Future Yumi from the door of the Future TARDIS. "You're alive!"

"Yumi! You were briliant!" replied the Doctor. "I knew you would find a way to settle this!"

"All I did was teach a Dalek how to play Go," said Yumi modestly.

"That explains why the Go was disappearing from the universe in the first place," said the Doctor.

"How?" asked Yumi.

"You saved the universe by playing Go," explained the Doctor. "But you also saw the version of reality in which nobody saved the universe, and the Daleks successfully destroyed it. In that version of reality, Go couldn't exist."

"Then how come I still remembered how to play it?" asked Yumi.

"Because the different versions of reality were getting tangled up in the time vortex," answered the Doctor. "It's really complicated, I can't explain it beyond...Get back inside the TARDIS right now!"

Four dragons had just appeared out of thin air. One of them flew viciously toward the future TARDIS, one towards the past TARDIS, one towards Future Dalek and one towards a Dalek in the crowd.

"Future Dalek," said the Doctor. "You created the binary switch. Can you switch it back?"

"Only for my own laser," said Future Dalek.

"That's all you need. You must destroy the Reapers before it's too late!"

Future Dalek fired his laser at the dragon that was just about to eat him.

"Now save your past self!" said the Doctor.

"HELP ME!" screamed the Dalek who was apparently the same Dalek as the one who had come from the future.

Future Dalek shot the Reaper that was chasing Past Dalek.

"Dalek who was almost eaten!" called the Doctor. "Get inside the TARDIS!"

Future Dalek killed the remaining two Reapers who were trying in vain to force their ways into the TARDISes. Past Dalek headed for one of them.

"No, not that TARDIS!" shouted the Doctor. "The other TARDIS! The past TARDIS!"

Past Dalek turned around and headed for the past TARDIS. Unfortunately, a Reaper materialized and blocked his path. Fortunately, Future Dalek shot it dead. Past Dalek and the Doctor hurried into that TARDIS.

"Doctor, what are those things?" asked Past Yumi as Past Dalek and the Doctor met her in the past TARDIS.

"They're Reapers," explained the Doctor. "They appear whenever a time paradox occurs. They act like time antibodies."

"And what's the paradox?" asked Past Yumi.

"You and a Dalek just came here from the future," said the Doctor. "But now your future selves have altered time to create a new future in which you won't travel back in time."

"So what do we do?" asked Past Dalek.

"Travel back in time," answered the Doctor. "It will correct this time line, causing the two time lines that split apart from one to merge together. I can't drive the TARDIS anymore, so its all up to the Dalek here."

The past TARDIS started fading. Inside that TARDIS, the Doctor appeared to be fading.

"Doctor, what's happening to you?" asked Past Yumi fearfully.

"The TARDIS is taking off, but it's leaving me behind. There's only one of me, you see. I didn't travel back in time in the paradox."

The past TARDIS disappeared. The Doctor was standing where it had been. The remaining Reapers who were trying to get into the TARDISes suddenly disappeared.

Inside the future TARDIS, Yumi started to feel her head spinning. She saw images of both time lines flashing through her head.

When the spinning sensation stopped, Yumi found herself on the floor. The Doctor was standing over her. Next to her, the Dalek's head was literally spinning, but it was slowing to a stop.

"Are you alright?" asked the Doctor.

"I'm okay," answered Yumi. "But my memory's all weird. I can remember seeing the universe destroyed, and playing Go with this Dalek, but I can also remember what must have been what my alternate past self saw."

"I am experiencing the same thing," said the Dalek.

"That's because when you traveled back in time from the Dalek salvation version of the future, you created a paradox that caused the timeline to split in to and unravel out of control," explained the Doctor. "But when that TARDIS traveled back in time, it merged the two timelines together, but it left a scar. Since the two timelines didn't match perfectly, the details of each still clashed, and ended up sharing space in your memories. Ack!"

The Doctor suddenly crouched over in pain.

"Are you all right?" asked Yumi.

"Well, considering that I've been shot by a Dalek," answered the Doctor, "I think I'm relatively well."

"But you regenerated, didn't you?" said Yumi.

"Not yet," said the Doctor. "My regeneration cycle is just starting. First I come back to life. Then I become a new person."

"A new person?" said Yumi. "How?"

"Well, my memories and principle values stay the same," explained the Doctor, "but my physical appearance changes, along with my personality."

"Doctor!" said the Dalek. "The fob watch is acting strangely."

"That's odd," said the Doctor as his body started glowing. "All of my essence should have left that watch already."

Yumi grabbed the fob watch, which was also glowing. It felt so hot that she dropped it instantly. It popped open and shot a stream of energy at the Doctor, whose entire body then burst into flames.

After a few seconds, the flames quickly died down, leaving a different man standing the same place, wearing the same kimono as the Doctor had been wearing.

The Doctor examined his new form. "Fingers. I've still got ten fingers. Um, new voice. Different accent. I used to be able to hit a perfect Osaka accent. Now I can't quite hit that or a Tokyo accent. Let's try speaking a different language.

"English. I am now speaking English...with a British accent. I'm British again! No, I'm a Time Lord from Gallifrey, but I can't seem to escape the Caucasian look and British accent." He examined the skin on his hands. "Yes, definitely Caucasian. I get one break with an Asian look and Osaka accent, but now I'm back to being the most conservative Time Lord ever. Unless..." he felt his hair... "Am I a girl?"

"No," said the Dalek, "you're definitely male, according to my sensors."

"I see," said the Doctor. "I've just got girly hair."

"Doctor," said the Dalek, "I still do not understand the significance of the watch."

"Good point," said the Doctor. "I've now regenerated eleven times, and the fob watch has never acted like this."

The Doctor inserted the watch into a diagnostic slot in the TARDIS control panel, then looked at the monitor. "I think it's because of Yumi. When I rewrote my Time Lord DNA with Human DNA, I passed half of that DNA onto my daughter. The watch must have recognized Yumi's DNA and got confused, creating a glitch."

"Is that bad?" asked Yumi.

"I don't know," said the Doctor. "Wait a minute, I'm getting some results here. Aha! I think I know what it means. I just got a free regeneration!"

"What do you mean, 'free'?" asked Yumi.

"A Time Lord can only regenerate twelve times, for a total of thirteen lives," explained the Doctor. "The glitch in the watch seems to have given me a regeneration that doesn't count towards the twelve regeneration limit."

"So you said you've regenerated eleven times, but one of them didn't count," said Yumi. "Does that mean that you can now regenerate two more times?"

"I think so," said the Doctor.

"What do you mean, 'think'?" asked Yumi.

"When I said I regenerated eleven times, I wasn't counting the time I took lethal damage and healed myself with the regeneration cycle, but found a way to cheat myself out of changing. Only time will tell if that cost me one of my thirteen lives.

"Speaking of time, where would you like to go next, Yumi?" asked the Doctor.

"Earth," said Yumi. "Japan. 2010. Right after I first left with you. And please don't miscalculate by even one day. I need to see my mother so that she knows I'm okay. You saw what she was like when she saw my future."

"Talk to Dalek Ces (Kess) here," said the Doctor. "He is currently in control of the TARDIS."

"Ces?" repeated the Dalek.

"Yeah, I thought it was about time to give you people names besides just 'Dalek' over and over again," said the Doctor.

* * *

"Mom, I'm home!" called Yumi.

"Yumi!" cried Masako. Yumi noticed that her mother's voice showed a strange amount of relief. She then remembered that she had always sounded like that whenever Yumi came home.

"Mom, I have to tell you something," said Yumi. "It's over."

"What's over?" asked Masako.

"It's in both of our pasts now," said Yumi, carefully choosing the order in which she presented the details. She was afraid that if she presented them in a more logical order, her mother would freak out before Yumi was able to get to the good news.

"What are you talking about?" asked Masako.

"The thing in your past that you feared in my future is now in my past too. I lived through it and survived. It's behind both of us. You don't need to worry about it any more."

"You mean..." started Masako, her voice shaking. "No! Not that! I can't even think about that! It's too painful!"

Masako clutched her chest as she started suffering from a heart attack. Yumi grabbed her cell phone and called for an ambulance.

* * *

Yumi ran into the Doctor at the hospital. He was still wearing the same kimono that Yumi had last seen him wear.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," said Yumi. "I can't come with you anymore. I need to take care of my mother."

"I'm sorry too," said the Doctor. "I didn't get to take you to play competitive alien Go. At least I can give you a goodbye present."

"You don't have to do that," said Yumi politely.

"It's really no trouble at all," said the Doctor. "It's not a physical present. It's a software upgrade. Actually, it's also a hardware upgrade. Do you have a smart phone that you can play Go on?"

"Yes, I do," said Yumi, giving the Doctor her cell phone.

"You call this a cell phone?" said the Doctor skeptically.

"Yes, it's an Android," answered Yumi.

"Where's the lid?" asked the Doctor.

"It's not a clamshell phone," said Yumi.

"But... clamshell phones are cool!" said the Doctor. "It looks useless on the outside, but when you open it up you find the screen and buttons inside. You can't beat that!"

"I think that the Android OS is cool," said Yumi, "but I've never seen a clamshell phone that ran Android."

"Fair enough," said the Doctor. "I guess I'll have a word with Google later." He then pointed his Sonic Screwdriver at Yumi's phone and activated it.

"There," said the Doctor. "Now you can play Go and make phone calls across limitless reaches of space and time."

"Doctor, I really don't know how to thank you," said Yumi.

"Just focus on taking care of your mother," said the Doctor.

"So I guess this is goobye," said Yumi.

"Yes it is," said the Doctor. "Geronimo!"

"'Geronimo'?" repeated Yumi.

"Yeah, 'Allons-y' is so last year," said the Doctor.

"Allons-y?" repeated Yumi.

"Sorry, I meant 'Ikuze'," said the Doctor. "In my mind, they're both out of date. I regenerated. I need a new catch phrase."

When the Doctor left, a very familiar-looking man came in. "Hello, Yumi," he said. "Long time no see. It's been what, 150 years?"

"Shusaku?" said Yumi.

"Actually, my name is now Yamada Torajiro," said Shusaku. "The Doctor said I had to start a new life, though I intend to continue playing Go."

"The Doctor's cure must have started working after we fixed the wound in time," said Yumi.

"You sound like the Doctor," said Torajiro. "I didn't understand a word you said."

"Sorry," said Yumi. "It's a long story.

"Anyway, it's too bad you can't take the exam to become a Go professional," said Yumi.

"Why not?" asked Torajiro.

"Because the age limit for the exam is 30 years," said Yumi. "You're 34 years old."

"Shh! Not so loud," said Torajiro. "The Doctor worked that out. He had me integrated into the current Japanese society, claiming that I'm 30 years old. People don't age very noticeably between the ages of 30 and 34."

* * *

Back inside the TARDIS, Dalek Ces was busy reconfiguring it so that the Doctor could pilot it.

"How's it going?" asked the Doctor.

"The TARDIS seems to have taken some damage from your last regeneration," said Ces. "The controls are now linked to you, but the engines may be unstable."

"Can't you fix them?" asked the Doctor.

"I think I already did," said Ces, "but I may have overlooked something."

"That's why you're supposed to put it through a test run!" said the Doctor.

"I didn't want to risk destroying the TARDIS," said Ces.

"Fine," said the Doctor. "I'll test it. If we play it safe, the TARDIS will never fly again."

"Be careful!" said Ces as he left the TARDIS.

The Doctor fired up the engines, and the TARDIS disappeared into the time vortex. Everything seemed to be going smoothly.

"I have got to get out of this kimono," said the Doctor. He went to the wardrobe and changed into an outfit with a hat and scarf, much like his fourth incarnation. "No, this doesn't do it for me," he said. He then tried on a suit with a necktie.

"Hmm...not quite. I know what I need! A bow tie. Bow ties are cool." The Doctor rummaged through his wardrobe, but couldn't find any bow ties.

"Oh, right. I threw them into a supernova. I can't believe I did that! I suppose I was a different man back then. My previous incarnations had no taste!"

Suddenly the TARDIS suddenly jerked violently. The Doctor ran to the control room and tried to land the TARDIS. He successfully left the time vortex, but he found himself miles above the Earth's surface, zooming out of control through the atmosphere.

"I guess the bow tie will have to wait," said the Doctor. "Geronimo!"

* * *

___I don't want to spoil too much about the Doctor's tenth regeneration from Doctor 10 (David Tennant) to Doctor 11 (Matt Smith), but I will tell you that he's alone when he regenerates. He has already parted with his previous companion and has yet to meet a new one. The only problem is that the TARDIS going out of control was a major plot device in the official Series 5 starring Matt Smith, in which the TARDIS fixes itself with a brand new interior look. Once I worked out a way to fit that in, and found an excuse to get through the thirteen-life limit, I was able to insert a Japanese "Doctor 10.5" in my fanfiction._


	7. SJA Special: Doctor Junior

___I do not own Doctor Who or the Sarah Jane Adventures. Both are the work of the BBC._

* * *

Yumi was back to playing Go in the human world. She had moved on from forcing her wins and losses by half a point. Now she had a new strategy.

___This guy can read pretty far ahead into the game, _thought Yumi as she and her opponent played into the early mid-game. ___I'll just read one or two moves further, and eventually he'll catch up to the bar I've set. Then I'll raise the bar._

At the end of the game, Yumi won by two and a half points.

"Thank you for the game," said Yumi.

"Thank you for the game," repeated her opponent. "I learned a lot from that game, Yamada-Sensei."

"Please don't call me that," said Yumi, blushing. "You're more than twice my age!" ___Even counting the fact that I aged about a year in no time, he's still more than twice my age, _she added silently.

"Sorry, Yamada-san."

___I guess that'll do, _thought Yumi. People older than Yumi usually called her "Yamada-chan," but that was before she had become famous in the Go community. She was okay with people who were younger than she was calling her "Sensei."

"This is a lot more fun than when you simply aimed at winning by half a point," said Yumi's opponent. "There are still some of us who think you're still patronizing us, but I think that you will lead us into a bright new future of Go."

Yumi blushed again. She really wasn't one for receiving above-average praise.

When Yumi came home, she met not only her mother, but Torajiro as well.

"Torajiro, this is my daughter, Yumi," said Yumi's mother. "Yumi, this is Yamada Torajiro, my new boyfriend."

"Actually, we've met," said Yumi.

"When?" asked her mother.

"We met in the hospital where you were recovering from a heart attack," said Torajiro.

"Besides, I've been keeping track of his progress in the Go pro exam," said Yumi. "He passed the exam with only one loss to a British boy named Luke Smith."

"That Smith boy might give you a run for your money," said Torajiro. "He beet me by only half a point, but I suspect that was intentional. He won every one of his games by exactly half a point."

"That's what I used to do," said Yumi.

"So I've heard," said Torajiro. "Maybe you should play him in the traditional Shinshodan match."

"I feel a little young for that," said Yumi.

"But you are the holder of the Judan title," said Torajiro.

"But if I play in the Shinshodan series, wouldn't you rather I play you?" asked Yumi.

"Yumi, you'll be seeing Torajiro about as often as I do," said Yumi's mother, "and you'll have plenty of chances to play Go with him."

* * *

Luke Smith had passed the pro exam, completely undefeated. His mother, Sarah Jane Smith, had promised to meet him for the end of his stay. She had been too busy to come with him for the whole trip.

"Luke!" cried a familiar voice that did not belong to Sarah Jane.

Luke turned around to find Maria Jackson jumping on him to hug him.

"Maria! What are you doing here?"

"My dad has a conference meeting in Japan," said Maria. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm taking an exam to become a professional Go player," said Luke. "So did your dad switch jobs again?"

"No, but his company started forming a partnership with a Japanese company," explained Maria.

"Konnichi wa, Luke-kun," said Maria's father, Alan Jackson.

"Konnichi wa, Jackson-san," repeated Luke. "You speak Japanese?" he asked in Japanese.

"Yes, I speak Japanese," said Mr. Jackson in English so that Maria wouldn't feel left out. "After all, I'm an expert at hacking into computer systems. It helps to speak the languages of various documents. Your Japanese is also very good."

"I learned how to speak English fluently on the day that the Bane created me three years ago," said Luke, who had the biology of a fifteen-year-old teenager. "What did you expect, Mr. Jackson?"

"You can call me Alan," said Alan Jackson.

"Honestly, though, what are the odds that we run into each other here?" asked Maria.

"Not as small as you might think," answered Luke, "considering that I've been staying here for a few months. But the odds are still pretty small."

"I can't believe it! It's Maria!" said the voice of Clyde Langer. Luke turned around to see his African friend accompanied by his other friend, an Indian girl named Rani Chandra, and Sarah Jane Smith, his mother.

"Oh my gosh!" said Maria.

"Why Maria?" asked Alan. "What about Luke?"

"Well, of course Luke's here," said Clyde. "He goes without saying. It's because of him that we're here."

Maria then noticed a robotic dog at Sarah Jane's feet.

"Is that K9?" she exclaimed.

"Affirmative," said the dog.

"I thought he was busy watching over a miniature black hole," said Maria.

"After you left, a friendly alien got rid of the black hole for us," explained Rani.

"But you can't just have K9 wandering around in public, can you?" said Maria.

"Sure we can," said Sarah Jane. "Look around you."

Maria then noticed a whole bunch of K9s roaming around with small children who were holding remote controls.

"Mr. Smith made an anonymous suggestion to the market for a new toy," explained Sarah Jane. "Now K9 can blend in and keep a lower profile. We could use some help from sentient machines if something goes wrong. It's not like we can take Mr. Smith with us. He's built in to my attic wall."

"Those toys are crude imitations of myself!" complained K9. "Why was I the only one who had to be transported in storage?"

"Because there was no way that the airport security would let you through the metal detector," answered Sarah Jane.

* * *

Back in England, the BBC director drove into a parking lot. He got out of his car and walked towards his office building. On the way, he walked straight into an invisible solid object.

"Ow!"

The object became visible, revealing a sphere with a diameter about as long as the length of a car. A door in the sphere opened, and an egg-shaped alien creature stepped out.

"Um, welcome to Earth," said the director nervously. "What do you want?"

"I'm looking for someone who goes by the alias D-R-J-R (Dee Are Jay Are)," said the alien. "I need to borrow your television station to draw him out."

"Who is this drjr?" asked the director. "Have you met him?"

"Not face-to-face," answered the alien. "I've only communicated with him over a distance. I know nothing about him except that he's on Earth."

"One problem," said the director. "What if drjr isn't watching the BBC?"

"Leave that to me," said the alien. "My superior technology can reroute the signal of every television unit."

"But even then, will drjr reveal himself just because I tell him to?" asked the director.

"If he cares about the lives of other humans, yes he will."

"That's sick!" said the director. "I won't do it. I never thought I'd say this, but you can kill me before I agree to that!"

"That won't be necessary," said the alien. "I find that more direct approaches can be quite persuasive."

* * *

While Alan Jackson was at the board meeting, the rest of the gang went to a restaurant for sushi. They sat together in a straight line, with Luke further to the right than the rest of the gang.

As luck would have it, Yamada Yumi wound up sitting right next to Luke.

"You're Yamada Yumi!" said Luke in Japanese.

"That's me," said Yumi.

"I read about you in ___Go Weekly_," said Luke.

"Yeah, that's how most people know my name," said Yumi. "I'm actually kind of embarrassed at the attention I'm getting."

"I'm Luke Smith," said Luke. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure to meet you too," replied Yumi. "Aren't you the one who took the Go pro exam and came out undefeated?"

"That's right," said Luke.

"Who's she?" asked Clyde from Luke's left side. "Do you know her, Luke?"

"I've read about her in the newspaper," said Luke.

"What were you talking about?" asked Clyde.

"If it helps, I speak English," said Yumi in English, with a moderately strong Japanese accent. "But your Japanese is very good, Smith-kun."

"Arigatou, Yamada-san," said Luke.

"Luke, you've made your point," said Clyde. "She's obviously very impressed, but in the mean time I can't understand a word you're saying."

"Sorry," said Luke.

Suddenly, the television hanging from the ceiling of the restaurant changed channels.

"This is the BBC," said a spooky, monotonic voice. "We know you're out there, D-R-J-R. Show yourself or people will start dying."

"drjr?" repeated Yumi, recognizing those four Roman letters.

"If you want my master's hostages to live, call this number." A telephone number flashed across the screen, and the man on TV read it out loud. "Tell us where you are. Don't bother traveling too far. My master will come to you."

"He sounds like he's been hypnotized," said Maria.

"Who's drjr?" asked Clyde.

"Doctor Junior," answered Yumi. "I use that screen name when playing Go online."

___Actually, I use that name when playing Go across the universe, __she thought. ____I've never used that name anywhere else. It must be someone from the Intergalactic Go Salon._

"Why would someone hold such a big grudge against you that he'd go this far?" asked Luke.

"You'd be surprised," said Yumi. She took out her cellphone and dialed the number.

"Thank you for calling," said a recorded voice. "Your call will be traced to your location."

"Oh boy," said Yumi. "I should go where there are fewer people around as quickly as possible."

"We should come with you," said Sarah Jane."This could be dangerous."

"Are you police?" asked Yumi.

"Not officially," said Sarah Jane. "But we have some valuable experience in protecting the public."

"Even so, this could be even too dangerous for any police officer," said Yumi.

"That's exactly the sort of danger that we tend to solve," said Sarah Jane.

Yumi got into her car and drove to the site of the abandoned warehouse that collapsed nineteen years ago. Sarah Jane followed in her rental car, taking Luke, Clyde, Maria and Rani with her.

A third car followed the first two to the site, driven by Alan Jackson.

"Are you dragging my Maria into another dangerous alien shenanigan?" he asked after everyone had arrived and vacated their cars. "Count me in."

"Aliens?" repeated Yumi.

"Oops," said Alan, clapping his hand over his mouth.

"It's okay," said Yumi. "I've met aliens too. I just didn't know you had."

"I'm sorry, I don't think we've been introduced," said Alan. "I'm Alan Jackson."

"I'm Yamada Yumi," said Yumi.

The rest of the gang introduced themselves.

"Excuse me, but I have detected the presence of an alien life form," said K9.

"What, you mean that Sontaran standing right in front of us?" asked Maria.

"Affirmative," said K9.

"Fat lot of help you are," said Clyde.

"Which of you three is drjr?" asked the Sontaran.

"Three?" repeated Luke. "There are seven of us. Eight if you count K9."

"I think he's only counting the men," said Sarah Jane.

"Are you suggesting that I was outperformed by a ___female_?" said the Sontaran rudely.

"I beg your pardon?" said Yumi angrily.

"Don't take it personally," said Sarah Jane. "The Sontarans are a clone race. They don't reproduce the way we do. Therefore they only have one gender."

"Exactly," said the Sontaran. "We have no need for a secondary reproductive type."

"Secondary?" repeated Yumi angrily. "When I'm through with you, you'll know the true meaning of secondary!" Yumi didn't feel like using her usual modesty on this jerk.

"I like her," said Clyde.

"Yamada-san, allow me," said Luke.

"No offense, Luke," said Clyde, "but do you really think that you can measure up to her tough-talk?"

"I prefer a more peaceful approach," said Luke. "Gender isn't primary or secondary," he told the Sontaran. "It's more like a magnet. Every magnet has a north pole and a south pole, which are completely indistinguishable except for their effects on each other. So if every magnet in the universe were to reverse polarity instantly and simultaneously, nobody would be able to tell the difference."

"Hmm," said the Sontaran. "Your logic has its insight. But I still won't allow myself to be disgraced by a puny human!"

"What did you do to him?" asked Rani.

"I beat him in a game of Go," answered Yumi.

"What's so disgraceful about that?" asked Clyde. "Wasn't Go invented by humans?"

"Actually, no," said Yumi.

"Oh, I see," said Clyde. "Aliens secretly taught us how to play it thousands of years ago?"

"No," said Yumi.

"Then how could independent civilizations come up with the same game by coincidence?" asked Clyde.

"If the game is Go, then it's quite simple," said Luke. "Go has only a few simple rules, which derive into endlessly complex strategy. Some say it's the perfect game."

"Enough talking!" demanded the Sontaran. "I demand a rematch!"

"He wants revenge by playing Go?" asked Maria.

"The Sontarans are very proud creatures," explained Sarah Jane. "Often times pride can only be regained in the same manner in which it was lost."

"What I'd like to know is why the Sontaran bothered to come all this way to face me in person," said Yumi. "If he wanted a rematch, why didn't he request another online game?"

"I did," said the Sontaran. "I played against you twice."

"So why did you need to track me down for the third game?" asked Yumi.

"If you must know, _this_ is what my Go console looks like now," said the Sontaran, throwing a busted piece of alien technology at Yumi's feet.

"What happened to it?" asked Yumi.

The Sontaran said nothing. He seemed to be at a loss for words.

"I bet he destroyed it in a fit of rage," said Clyde.

* * *

The Sontaran provided his own board, along with a binary randomization machine to choose for color. Yumi played black.

"Onegaishimasu," said Yumi, bowing.

"Sontar, ha!" replied the Sontaran, slamming one fist into the palm of his other hand.

The last time Yumi had beaten the Sontaran with her interstellar console, they had made it to the endgame. This time, however, Yumi happened to win a large capturing race, putting the Sontaran significantly behind.

This was the point where the Sontaran would resign. Instead, he pulled out his gun.

"If I can't get my honor back, then I'll bury my dishonor!"

"HALT!" screamed a voice from behind the Sontaran. "YOU - WILL - NOT - LAY - ONE - FIN-GER - ON - THE - FE-MALE, OR - ELSE - YOU - WILL - BE - EX-TER-MI-NA-TED!"

The Sontaran turned around to find himself facing one of the few things he was afraid of - a Dalek.

"H-hang on," he stuttered. "Why are you protecting a human?"

"Okay, you got me," said Dalek Ces. "I'm not like the Daleks you're familiar with. But then again, you are a particularly dishonorable Sontaran."

"How many other Daleks are here?" asked the Sontaran.

"Just me," said Ces.

"Good," said the Sontaran, pointing his gun at Dalek Ces. Before he could fire, however, Clyde picked up a Go stone and flung it at the Sontaran from behind. It hit him square on the back of the neck.

The Sontaran wheezed and fell face-first to the ground.

"What did you do to him?" asked Yumi.

"The back of his neck is the weak spot," answered Clyde.

"That's how the Sontarans respire," explained Luke. "They don't eat or breathe. The valves on the back of their necks provide them with all the respiratory energy they need."

* * *

When the Sontaran came to, his hands were tied together, and Sarah Jane was pointing his own gun at him.

"Get into your spaceship and go back to Sontar," she said.

The Sontaran obeyed.

* * *

"He's got a nasty surprise waiting for him," said Dalek Ces with a slight hint of a laugh. "I have Dalek contacts hiding on Sontar, ready to broadcast everything I saw here. The other Sontarans won't be pleased."

"Doctor Junior," said Sarah Jane. "I presume you know the Doctor?"

"I sure do know him," said Yumi. "In a sense, he's my father."

"What do you mean, 'In a sense?'" asked Alan.

"Well, my biological father and the Doctor are all but the same person," said Yumi.

"That does not compute," said K9. "Your DNA is 100% human and 0% Time Lord."

"The Doctor took me back in time to before I was born," explained Yumi. "For complicated reasons, he had to convert himself into a human."

"But then he's still the same person, isn't he?" asked Rani.

"Not quite," said Yumi. "He erased his mind and replaced it with a human mind. Actually, he didn't erase it so much as move it somewhere else. The only way for him to get his mind back was to erase my father's mind and turn him back into a Time Lord."

"You mean that your father and the Doctor couldn't coexist?" asked Maria. "Only one of them could live?"

"That's right," said Yumi sadly.

"Ouch," said Alan. "That must have been painful."

"It was," said Yumi. "In the end, I got kidnapped by Daleks. My father was powerless to save me, but the Doctor could. Therefore, my father gave his own life to bring the Doctor back."

"I feel remorse like no Dalek has ever felt in eons," said Dalek Ces. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"If I hadn't forgiven you already," answered Yumi, "I probably wouldn't have helped you adapt to a better life."

"You helped me after all the damage I did to you," said Ces. "I shall be in your debt forever."

"What did you do, exactly?" asked Alan.

"I taught him how to play Go," said Yumi. "By learning that, he learned the true meaning of victory."

"Are you kidding me?" said Clyde. "That is so anticlimactic!"

"If any game can do that, it's Go," said Luke. "I imagine that the ideal game for Daleks would be Checkers, since you win that game by ridding the board of every playing piece that belongs to your opponent."

"Yeah, but still," argued Clyde, "You can't just walk up to a Dalek and say, 'Excuse me, but before you exterminate me, would you fancy playing a board game with me first?'"

Yumi told the details of her story.

"So basically, the Daleks ___couldn't_kill you?" said Maria.

"That's right," said Yumi.

"Works for me," said Rani.

"I am detecting another invisible Sontaran spacecraft descending," warned K9.

"Grant clearance," said Dalek Ces. "I know what they are here for. They mean us no harm."

The spacecraft became visible, and three Sontarans stepped out. The Sontaran in front seemed to be the prisoner of the two Sontarans behind him.

"That's the same Sontaran who tried to kill me," said Yumi, looking at the prisoner in the front.

"You can tell one Sontaran from another?" said Clyde. "They all look the same to me."

"We think the same thing about humans," said the Sontaran prisoner.

"Well, you certainly know the difference between males and females," said Maria.

"Yes, and we can also estimate your age based on your size. Beyond that, you all look the same to us."

"What business do you have here?" asked Sarah Jane.

"This rogue has disgraced the Sontaran race," said one of the guards. "As punishment, he will be humiliated for your entertainment,"

"I never found humiliation to be very entertaining," said Yumi.

"I have a hunch about what they're planning," said Luke. "If I'm right, it won't be that bad, and you might enjoy it. I think they want him to sing opera."

"You are a clever child," said the second guard.

"Actually, this could be interesting," said Yumi.

"Damn!" said the Sontaran prisoner.

"Commence punishment!" said one of the guards.

Without taking a breath, the prisoner launched into song.

"Ohhh I lost a game of Go to a human child I requested a rematch and lost again I destroyed my console in a fit of rage it was a very immature thing to do I tracked down my opponent for a physical rematch and lost a third time I tried to kill her to bury my shame I was stopped by an unorthodox Dalek and my dishonor was made public some of you are probably wondering how I can hold a note for so long without pausing for breath it's because of the valve on the back of my neck I inhale through that allowing me to exhale through my mouth indefinitelyyyyyyy."

The human audience clapped their hands.

"We will be leaving now," said a guard. "We offer our deepest apologies for this rogue's cowardly attack. We look forward to facing you equally in battle once you have evolved further. From the looks of things, that will take many millenia."

_The Sontarans may be honorable,_ though Yumi, _but they sound very rude nonetheless._

"By the way, Smith-kun," said Yumi after the Sontarans had left, "The Shinshodan series will take place soon, and I'd like to be your opponent."

"Wouldn't that make you the youngest professional to play white in a Shinshodan game?" asked Luke.

"Yes, it would," said Yumi, blushing a little.

"What's the Shinschmathingy series?" asked Clyde.

"Shinshodan," corrected Luke. "It's when a top-level pro plays a game against a shodan, or a new pro who just passed the exam to become pro. The shodan plays black, thereby playing the first move. Black also gets a reverse komi."

"Reverse what?" asked Maria.

"The komi rule gives white six and a half points to compensate for black's advantage of playing first," explained Yumi. "In the Shinshodan series, the komi is reversed, giving black six and a half points as a handicap."

"But Luke, do you really need a handicap?" asked Rani.

"Against an ordinary Earth pro, probably not," said Luke. "But against Yamada-san, who defeated a Sontaran, I just might."

* * *

One Shinshodan game later...

"So, how did your shinsho-whatever game go?" asked Clyde.

"I won the Shinshodan game by half a point," answered Luke.

"I knew you'd win," said Clyde. "Didn't you win all your games in that exam tournament by half a point?"

"That's different," said Luke. "In this game, I was trying to get as far as possible. But she got the best of me."

"But you won," argued Clyde.

"Only by half a point, with a reverse komi," argued Luke. "If that were an even game, I would have lost by twelve and a half points."

"I guess there's someone out there as gifted as Luke," said Maria.

"She is the Doctor's daughter, after all," said Rani.

"But the Doctor made himself human when he became her father, didn't he?" said Clyde.

"Exactly," said Luke. "He ___made_himself human - as in, he gave himself artificial human DNA, just like the Bane gave me when they created me. After all, I am human, even if I'm genetically engineered."

"She's also had practice against aliens," added Rani. "I imagine that would give her experience with how they play."

* * *

On her way home from the Shinshodan game, Yumi's cell phone rang. "Hello?" she answered.

"Doh roh koh Yamada Yumi soh..." said an alien voice.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're saying," said Yumi.

The alien paused, and Yumi heard some beeping in the background.

"Language Assimilated," said the alien. "Earth. Japanese. I have a message for the human known as Yamada Yumi."

"That's me," said Yumi. "Are you Judoon still after me for taking the Judan title?"

"No," said the Judoon. "The Doctor filled out paperwork on your behalf quite some time ago. We are calling because we noticed that you have been playing Go on the interstellar network, but your activity seems to have come to a halt recently."

"That's because on of the opponents I have beaten tried to avenge himself by killing me," said Yumi.

"Understood," said the Judoon. "We would like to offer you our personal protection from vengeful opponents, allowing you to continue safely playing on the interstellar network – but under one condition: lose the Judan title. Until then, you may play on the interstellar network at your own risk."

_I'd love to get rid of that title,_ thought Yumi, _but that's easier said than done._


	8. Torchwood Special Part1: Torchwood no Go

___I still do not own the rights to Doctor who or Torchwood. Both are the work of the BBC._

* * *

Yamada Yumi was playing yet another Judan title match. Her challenger was Sato Yuki, who had previously held the Judan title until Yumi took it from him. It was the fourth game of the five-round match. Yumi had one win and two losses. If she lost this game, Sato would get the Judan title back. If she won, they would enter the final round.

_If he plays a stone at this one point, it will compromise my territory, and I will lose,_ thought Yumi. _But it's a difficult move to see, and he might not see it._

Sato then played his stone at the exact point that Yumi had been thinking about.

_Yes!_ thought Yumi. _Now I can say goodbye to the Judan title._

After the endgame, Sato won by three and a half points. "Thank you for the game," he said.

"Thank you for the game," repeated Yumi, smiling.

"You seem happy, considering that you lost," said Sato. "I mean, I know you took it easy on me, but still..."

"How could I be happy if I kept the title?" said Yumi. "Look at what I've done to the preliminary rounds for the title just by holding it. There has been decreasing competition, because fewer people want to challenge me."

"That was an amazing game," said Sato. "Yamada-Sensei...I mean, Yamada-_san_, you pushed me really hard, but just barely not too hard."

Yumi and Sato left the Room of Yugen, in which there was a camera looking down on the Go board, and entered the room next door, in which there was a television connected to said camera. Sato went through the door first.

"BOO!" shouted a boy in the insei program when he saw Sato.

"I beg your pardon?" said Yumi angrily.

"I was booing Sato, not you, Yamada-Sensei, the real Judan," said the boy.

"I'm not the Judan anymore," said Yumi. "Sato-san is."

"Pfft. Sato only won because you let him win," said the boy.

"I did not just let Sato-san win," said Yumi. "I'll have you know that it took Sato-san every iota of his strength to beat me!"

"But you weren't playing with _your_ full strengh, Yamada-Sensei," said the boy.

"That's not the point," said Yumi.

"Allow me," said Sato. "Suzuki-kun, who first taught you how to play Go?"

"I learned from my dad," answered the boy.

"And if I'm not mistaken, your father is a professional Go player?" said Sato.

"Yes," said Suzuki.

"When your father taught you Go, Suzuki-kun, did he play against you with his full strength?" asked Sato.

"Of course not," said Suzuki.

"Exactly," said Sato. "If he did, you wouldn't have learned anything. It's the same with Yamada-san. Compared to her strength, we are all children, myself included, and children don't learn anything by having the most advanced knowledge just thrown at them."

Yumi was blushing deep red by now. "Sato-san, do you really think it's wise to call Suzuki-kun a child to his face?"

"Under normal circumstances, no," said Sato. "But Suzuki-kun clearly already knows your strength compared to his."

* * *

On her way home, Yumi called a number that she had saved on her phone.

"Doh soh koh?" said the voice of a Judoon on the other end.

"This is Yamada Yumi," said Yumi. "I have now lost the Judan title."

"Language assimilated," said the Judoon. "Earth. Japanese. Yamada Yumi, you may now play Go on the interstellar network without fear of vengeance."

"You look worn out," said Yumi's mother, Masako, when Yumi came home.

"I just wish I didn't have to travel to another country to find someone who doesn't know my name," replied Yumi.

"Maybe you should do just that," suggested her mother's fiancée, Torajiro. "Although I would appreciate it if you could stay for our wedding before you leave."

"I'd love to travel to another country," said Yumi, "but I think that mom might have more problems with that than just the wedding."

"Yumi, I've been an overprotective mother for way too long," said Masako. "It's time I let you have more freedom."

"Who are you, and what have you done with my mother?" demanded Yumi.

"Look into my eyes, Yumi," said her mother. "I know you can read people's characters just by looking into their eyes. Tell me what you see."

"I was joking," said Yumi. "For a short while now I've seen you change. Your fragility looks like it is healing, and the strength that you once had seems to be returning. But this is all happening too quickly."

"I've been seeing a therapist," said her mother. "He has tremendously helped me get over the pain in my past."

"What exactly did you tell him about your pain?" asked Yumi.

"I told him that before you were born, I saw your possible death eighteen years into the future."

Yumi stared at her mother, at a loss for words.

"Don't worry. My therapist works for an alien research organization. He knows about this kind of stuff."

"But don't people like that keep their identities secret?" asked Yumi. "How did you find him?"

"I didn't," said her mother. "He found me. He called me and offered to give me therapy."

"How did he know about your condition?" asked Yumi.

"He said that someone had hacked his databases and found him. He didn't say exactly who – just someone who owed us a dept and knew that I needed help."

* * *

Later that night, Yumi went over to the nostalgic sight of the destroyed warehouse where she had met the Daleks, and later on, a Sontaran. This time she came to meet with Dalek Ces, an unusual Dalek whom Yumi had helped to find peace.

"It was you, wasn't it?" said Yumi. "You set mom up with a psychiatrist who was also a top-secret alien research agent."

"Yes, that was me." said Dalek Ces.

"I don't know how to thank you enough," said Yumi.

"You shouldn't thank me at all," said Ces. "It's my fault that your mother's soul was torn apart in the first place."

"Don't beat yourself up about that," said Yumi.

"I'm not beating myself up," said Ces. "I'm amending my wrongdoing. I'm trying to undo the damage I did so that it looks like it didn't happen."

Yumi made sure to attend her mother's second wedding. From her point of view, it had been less than two years since she had attended her mother's first wedding before she was even born. From her mother's point of view, it had been about nineteen years.

"Did you tell mom who you really are?" Yumi asked her new stepfather, Torajiro, during the wedding's reception.

"Yes, I told her that I was Hon'inbo Shusaku in a past life," said Torajiro. "Although I can honestly say, I have never heard of Fujiwara no Sai until I started reading your _Hikaru no Go_ manga volumes."

"Did you like the series?" asked Yumi.

"Yes, it's very intriguing," said Torajiro. "It's quite an honor for my name to be mentioned in a popular work of fiction."

* * *

One month later, in Cardiff, England...

"I'm sorry, Jack," said Gwen Cooper. "I failed."

"It's not your fault," said Captain Jack Harkness, the leader of Torchwood. "The guy we were chasing is literally invisible. We need to find better technology to track him down."

"But I tried to chase him through an airport!" said Gwen. "He must be in another country by now!"

"Don't worry," said Jack. "The alien technology that we currently possess can get a vague lock on his location. Once the airplane that he's on lands, we'll know where he's headed."

"So what kind of technology do we need?" asked Gwen.

"Something like the scanners that I used to find him the first time, only portable. We need to find out more about his power."

"We know he's invisible," said Gwen. "How does he do it? Is it like the entrance to our headquarters?"

"No, it's nothing like that," said Jack. "Our entrance is hidden by a perception filter. It's perfectly visible, but there's a psychic field around it that stops people from noticing it. This guy is different. It's like he only half exists, or is drifting between this dimension and another one. He doesn't reflect light, and any body heat that he gives off goes to another dimension."

"But he can touch things in this world," said Gwen.

"Yes, he can make physical contact," said Jack. "Basically, he can do anything that a normal human can, but he can also warp reality for one purpose: don't get noticed."

"Wait – is he human or alien?" asked Gwen.

"I think he's a human who's being possessed by an alien symbiote," said Jack. "Our goal is to find them, separate the symbiote from its host, and then capture the symbiote."

* * *

Meanwhile, at the John F. Kennedy Airport in New York, none of the customs guards noticed a boy in his late teens sneaking past them. He had no trouble sneaking past them, considering that he was completely invisible.

___We're close,_ said a voice in his head. ___Soon you can say goodbye to me._

___What, you're just going to drop me off and leave me here in another country?_ thought the boy.

___I thought you wanted to get rid of me,_ said the voice.

___I do, but I need somewhere to live,_ thought the boy.___If you leave me now, I won't be able to sneak onto a plane back to England without invisibility._

___What difference does it make?_ said the voice. ___You weren't wanted there anyway. Nobody ever noticed you, even when you were physically visible._

Just then something caught the boy's eye. It was a Japanese girl about his age. But it wasn't just any Japanese girl.

___That's Yamada Yumi!_ he thought. ___The world's strongest Go player!_

___It's not just Go,_ said the voice in his head. ___I sense tremendous power flowing through her. I want that power!_

___Is that why you came all the way to America?_ asked the boy. ___How did you know she would be here and not in Japan?_

___I didn't,_ answered the voice. ___I was looking for someone else, but this girl is so much better!_

___What are you going to do to her?_ asked the boy nervously.

___Oh, are you actually concerned for her?_ said the voice.

Yumi was on her way to pick up her baggage, but she could feel something nearby that was out of place. She looked around. Everything looked normal, but there was a lie in the appearance of her environment.

Yumi looked in a certain direction, thinking that the disturbance in reality seemed to be coming from that direction. She still couldn't see anything out of place, but she knew there was supposed to be something right in front of her.

Suddenly, a boy about her age appeared to materialize out of thin air. Yumi had a second to see his face before he grabbed her by the wrist.

Immediately she could feel something trying to come through her from within the boy. She could feel it prying into her mind, but she resisted with all her strength.

___I will have...your power!_ said a voice in her head.

___If you could take it that easily,_ thought Yumi, ___it wouldn't be my power, would it?_

___Give it to me!_ said the voice.

___Get out of my head!_ thought Yumi.

After a bit of intense mental struggling, Yumi was able to shove the psychic invader out of her mind. The boy let go of her, and in another second, he disappeared.

"Are you all right?" asked a security guard in the airport.

"Yes, I'm okay," said Yumi.

"Do you know the guy who was assaulting you?" asked the guard.

"I've never seen him before," said Yumi.

"Don't worry," said the security guard. "We'll find him and bring him to justice."

"Good luck with that," said Yumi.

"We have security cameras all over the airport," said the guard. "We can track his every movement from the point where he assaulted you." He picked up his radio and spoke into it. "Control, have you traced the suspect's whereabouts yet?"

"Actually," said a voice from the radio, "as soon as he stopped assaulting the victim, he seems to have vanished into thin air."

"Have you tried rewinding the recording?" asked the guard.

"Yes I have," said the security control operator. "All I see is him literally vanishing. First he's there, then he's gone."

"That's impossible!" said the guard.

"Is it really?" asked Yumi. "A few years ago, the entire planet Earth disappeared from the solar system. You do remember that, don't you?"

"Of course I remember," said the guard. "I meant that it's not ___humanly_ possible. He must be an alien with the power to teleport."

"Actually, I think he's just invisible," said Yumi. "When I couldn't see him, I could still pick up some subtle signs that he was there."

"We will look into it," said the guard.

"Are you familiar with handling aliens?" asked Yumi.

"No, but we have contacts who are," said the guard. "That's all I can tell you."

* * *

As soon as Yumi was free from the aftermath of the incident with the invisible boy, she claimed her baggage, then boarded a bus toward a hotel. Unfortunately, the hotel receptionist had some bad news.

"I'm sorry, but we just filled our last vacancy,"said the receptionist.

Meanwhile, at the elevator, the doors opened and a man stepped out into the lobby. He stared at Yumi when he saw her.

"I can't believe they're letting J %s into this hotel!" said the man.

"I beg your pardon?" said Yumi. "What did I ever do to you?"

"Are you kidding me?" said the man. "Do the words 'Pearl Harbor' ring any bells?"

"Pearl Harbor was bombed by kamikaze airplanes long before I was born," said Yumi. "Therefore it has nothing to do with me."

"It does too!" said the man. "You're a J %. The kamikaze pilots were J %s."

"That proves nothing," said Yumi. "But by your own logic, the United States is guilty of dropping a nuclear bomb on Hiroshima, Japan."

"You deserved it," said the man.

"That's harsh," said Yumi, "but at least you got your revenge, so can't you let it rest?"

"It wasn't enough revenge," said the man.

"It was a nuclear explosion in a civilian city!" said Yumi. "Compare that to kamikaze airplanes crashing into a military base. It's obvious which one's more destructive."

"All right, break it up," said a hotel security staff.

The racist man looked at the guard's turban. "Are you a Muslim?" he said.

"Yes, I am," said the guard. "What about it?"

"What the f*&k are you doing here?" said the racist man.

"I'm kicking you out of the hotel," said the guard. "Does that answer your question?"

"_You_ can't kick _me_ out!" said the racist man.

"Yes, I can," said the guard. "I'm a security guard. I can do that. Now, you should probably count your blessings while you've only been kicked out."

The racist man didn't answer, but instead tried to punch the guard, who blocked the attack.

"So much for counting your blessings," said the guard. "You just lost the blessing of not being arrested."

"So, do you know of any other hotels that have vacancies?" Yumi asked the receptionist.

"Actually, this one just opened up a vacancy," answered the receptionist.

Over the next two days, Yumi tried to relax and enjoy her vacation, but she couldn't get the invisible boy out of her head. She couldn't help feeling that she should be doing something about it. She wasn't particularly worried about the racist guy she met at the hotel. He was pretty predictable, not to mention that he was already in prison. At least he was easier to handle than an invisible rogue who could strike again without warning.

___The police are working on it,_ she told herself. ___They have contacts that can deal with aliens. They'll be fine without me._

As she was walking down the street, Yumi noticed some signs posted on the walls of buildings and on telephone poles. They had the caption "WANTED" and a photograph of the boy who had attacked her. This photograph was obviously taken at the airport during the brief time that the boy was visible.

___This is their strategy?_ thought Yumi skeptically. ___He's invisible! Although, this is probably actually insurance rather than their main plan. Who knows? Maybe he'll turn visible again and someone can report his whereabouts._

Just then, Yumi saw the same boy standing across the street, perfectly visible. Yumi crossed the street to meet him.

"You do realize that you have wanted posters with your face on them all over the place," said Yumi, "and you're just standing around in public?"

"Yeah, pretty much," said the boy, who had a British accent. "The funny thing is, I've been standing here for an hour, and I've seen three police cars drive by, but nobody's taken any notice of me. One of the policemen stopped just over there..." he pointed to a fire hydrant nearby, "...and gave a car a parking ticket. I tried to shout after him, but he just got into his car and drove off."

"So basically, you're trying to turn yourself in," said Yumi.

"It's a fair cop," said the boy.

"What does that mean?" asked Yumi.

"It's a British slang," said the boy. "It means it's a fair accusation."

"I'm sorry, what's your name?" said Yumi.

"John Smith," said the boy.

"I'm Yamada Yumi," said Yumi. "Or Yumi Yamada if you want it in western order."

"Yes, I know who you are," said John.

"Great," said Yumi. "I'm turning into Harriet Jones*."

"Halt!" said a voice. "Hands up!"

Yumi and John raised their hands and turned to see Gwen Cooper and Captain Jack Harkness pointing their guns at John.

"No, not you," said Jack, looking at Yumi. "You can put your hands down."

"You don't need to point guns at me," said John. "I surrender. I will cooperate with you and answer any of your questions."

"What's your name?" asked Gwen.

"John Smith," said John.

"Nice try," said Jack. "You said you would answer any of our questions. Now what is your name?"

"That is my name," said John. "I know, it's generic, and I never really liked it, but that's what I was landed with."

"He's telling the truth," said Gwen. "I scanned him and traced his image to a photo ID from an on-line database. He lives in an orphanage in Cardiff, and his name is indeed John Smith."

"When you scanned him, did you check to see if the symbiote was still there?" asked Jack.

"Yes I did," answered Gwen. "It's gone."

"It left me yesterday," said John. "While I was invisible, and being controlled by the symbiote, I sneaked into a concert starring Britney Spears. While she was backstage, I grabbed her. Next thing I knew, I was visible again. Britney seemed too dazed to notice me, though."

"So now Britney Spears is invisible," said Jack.

"I don't think so," said John. "Look up there." He pointed to a large television screen on the outside wall of a tall building. Britney Spears was on the air, singing.

Jack scanned the screen with a high-tech alien scanner. "It's definitely playing live," he said.

"Can you find out where it's playing from?" asked Yumi.

"Why?" asked Jack.

"So that we can go to where she is," said Yumi.

"Why bother?" asked John. "We can hear her music from right here."

"That's not what I meant," said Yumi. "We should be trying to catch the symbiote."

"She's right," said Gwen.

"Can't we wait until this song's over?" asked John.

"If we do, the symbiote could be harder to track," said Yumi.

"But which is more important?" asked John. "Catching the symbiote, or listening to Britney's music? Don't you like her songs?"

Yumi didn't say anything, not wanting to be rude, but her face gave the answer away.

"How could you not like her?" asked John.

Just then, something caught Yumi's eye. She and the others were standing right outside a music store. On display by the window were a bunch of CDs – and all of the CDs were albums by Britney Spears.

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere in New York City, Britney Spears had just finished singing her last song before the intermission. A long line of people were waiting to ask her for autographs.

Soon she had signed ten autographs. The next person in line was an elderly man. She took the piece of paper he had with him, then wrote on it, "To Al Kahn." She then signed her name in cursive.

"How do you know my name?" asked Kahn.

"I've known who you were for a long time," said Britney, who had a sinister look in her eyes. "You're just the man I've been waiting for."

Britney Spears grabbed Al Kahn by the wrist, allowing the symbiote to flow out of her and into him. Kahn stood there, dazed for a few seconds. When he came to his senses, he walked away.

* * *

"The CDs are back to normal," commented Yumi. "They now feature a variety of artists."

"The symbiote must have left Britney Spears," said John. "I suddenly don't like her music anymore. I can't believe I said those things about how great her songs were. They're terrible!"

"This doesn't make any sense," said Jack. "First it possesses John Smith and makes him invisible. Then it possesses Britney Spears and makes her the most popular woman on the planet."

"It makes perfect sense," said John. "Before the symbiote possessed me, I already felt like I was invisible. People could physically see me, but they always ignored me. I never had any friends and I never participated in any school clubs. I tried to start up a Go club, but nobody ever joined.

"As for Britney Spears, she has already gained a surprising amount of popularity, despite the bad quality of her music, in my opinion."

"So you're saying that the symbiote doesn't just make anyone invisible," said Yumi. "It warps reality based on its host's persona."

"Exactly," said John. "Back at the airport, it said it was looking for someone in particular."

"You mean me?" asked Yumi.

"No," said John. "It sensed power in you and got tempted by the lucky encounter. But it told me it was looking for someone else," said John. "I just don't know who."

* * *

The next day, at 4Kids TV Headquarters...

Voice actor Dan Green was sitting at his desk, watching Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, a fan-made parody by LittleKuriboh.

"Yugi!" said LittleKuriboh's voice playing the part of Yugi's alter-ego. "You can't be dead! If you were dead then 4Kids would have censored it!"

Dan Green laughed out loud.

"You do realize that that show is making fun of us," said another 4Kids employee.

"Hey, I can work for 4Kids and still enjoy insulting parodies," said Green. "I'm just a voice actor. I get paid to say lines that are unpopular with hardcore anime fans."

"Just don't let our boss catch you watching that," said the other employee, just as the door opened. "Oh, speak of the devil."

Al Kahn walked through the door into the room. Dan Green quickly closed his Internet browser window.

"Mr. Kahn, sir," he said. "I was just, um, trying to figure out what to say against that lawsuit. You know how TV Tokyo is trying to sue us and take away our rights to Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds?"

"Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds doesn't matter anymore," said Kahn. "I've got my eyes on a whole new show to dub and censor."

"What's that?" asked Green.

"Reality," said Kahn, grinning evilly with a sinister look in his eyes.

___To be continued..._

* * *

___* Harriet Jones: Seriously, you don't know who she is? I thought everyone in the universe knew who she was. She's the late former prime minister of Britain in the Doctor Who world. Whenever she introduces herself, the response is always, "Yes, I know who you are." This applies to aliens as well. For example, in the Christmas special in season two, after the Doctor regenerated, the Sycorax invaded Earth and kidnapped Harriet Jones and her government, including someone who held a computer that could translate Sycoraxic._

Harriet Jones: Harriet Jones, prime minister.

Sycorax: (Sycoraxic gibberish)

Translator: Yes, we know who you are.

___And then there's the Dalek invasion in "The Stolen Earth," when the Daleks hunted Harriet Jones down to exterminate her._

Harriet Jones: Harriet Jones, former prime minister.

Daleks: YES, WE – KNOW – WHO – YOU – ARE!


	9. Torchwood Special Part 2: 4Kids no Go

___I still do not own Doctor Who or Torchwood. Both are the property of 4Kids TV...wait, what? Okay, so in this alternate version of reality, everything belongs to 4Kids, but I'm pretty sure that in the normal version of reality, Doctor Who and Torchwood belong to the BBC._

* * *

Yamada Yumi, John Smith, Captain Jack Harknass and Gwen Cooper were still trying to hunt down an alien symbiote. After possessing John, the symbiote had left him and bonded with Britney Spears. The four who were looking for the symbiote knew that it had abandoned Britney, but they needed to follow its trail. Therefore they confronted her for questioning.

"We believe you were signing autographs yesterday," said Jack.

"Is that a crime?" said Britney.

"We're not arresting you," said Gwen. "We need some information to help track down an alien symbiote that was possessing you."

"Are you crazy?" asked Britney.

"Normally we wouldn't be this forward with alien information," said Jack, "but we know that you already know about this alien's presence. You can't deny what you went through yesterday and the day before."

"Is it that hard for you to believe that I'm simply ultra-popular?" asked Britney.

"Not popular enough to monopolize the entire music industry," said John.

"All right," said Britney. "I was signing autographs, when suddenly the symbiote thingy abandoned me for the guy whose autograph I was signing."

"Whose autograph were you signing?" asked Yumi.

"If I tell you, will you help me get that symbiote back?" asked Britney.

"Um, yeah," said John. "Totally."

"I don't believe you," said Britney.

"That was pretty unconvincing," said Yumi.

"Look, we need that symbiote," said Jack. "It's dangerous."

"I don't care," said Britney. "It was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Was it really?" asked Yumi. "I think popularity is overrated."

"How would you know?" said Britney.

"It's funny you should say that," said Yumi. "Back in Japan, I'm more popular than I ever wanted to be. I came to America specifically to get a break from all that."

"Why would anyone do that?" asked Britney.

* * *

"Well, that was a complete waste of time," said John after they had given up and parted with Britney Spears.

"I think this is what the symbiote wants," said Yumi. "It probably bonded with Britney Spears specifically to shake us off its trail. She signed many autographs for many people, and the symbiote could have moved on to any one of them."

"Sally, what happened to your voice?" asked John. "Didn't you have some kind of accent before?"

"What did you just call me?" asked Yumi.

"That's your name, isn't it?" asked John. "Sally Smith?"

"No it isn't," answered Yumi. "It's Sally Smith."

Everyone paused for a second, trying to make sense of the last two sentences.

"It must be that symbiote," said Sally. "It's warping reality again. Now I can't say my own name, although I can still remember what it sounded like in my head."

"I can't," said John. "All I remember is Sally Smith."

Sally turned to Jack and Gwen.

"Actually, I think this is the first time that we've been introduced," said Jack. "My name is Captain Jack Harknass – I think."

"I think I'm Gwen Cooper," said Gwen.

"Sally, have you ever played charades?" asked John.

"Yes, I have," said Sally.

"Why don't you try acting out the sound of your name?" suggested John.

Sally tapped one finger finger of her left hand over two fingers of her right hand.

"Two syllables," said John.

Sally tapped one finger of each hand against the other.

"First syllable," said John.

Sally pointed at Jack Harknass.

"Jack?" said Jack.

Sally shook her head, then pointed at Gwen.

"Gwen?" said Gwen.

Sally shook her head again.

"Torchwood?" suggested Jack.

Sally pointed to herself, then crossed her arms over her chest, then pointed at John.

"I love you?" said John.

Sally blushed, then held up three fingers with her left hand, while pointing to John with her right hand.

"Oh, 'you,'" said John.

Sally gave John a thumbs-up. She then tapped two fingers against one.

"Second syllable," said Jack.

Sally pointed at herself.

"I?" asked John. "You-I?"

Sally shook her head. She pointed at John, then crossed her arms. She hesitated, her face flushing deep red. She nervously pointed at herself.

"You love me," said John. "The second syllable is 'me.'"

"And the first syllable is 'you,'" said Jack. "Put it together and it's 'Sally.'"

Sally buried her face in her hands.

"That was really weird," said Jack.

"Just try to remember what it sounded like in your head," said Sally.

"Sally, I introduced myself to you before the symbiote switched hosts," said John. "What's my name?"

"It's John Smith," said Sally. "That honestly was what you said your name was."

"BLEEP!" said John.

"What was that?" asked Jack.

"I tried to swear," said John, "but all I heard was a bleeping noise. Actually, it was hardly a swear at all. It's probably one of the two least vulgar swears, as in 'God will BLEEP you to BLEEP.' I tried to say the first bleep.

"Anyway, I can still swear in my head," continued John. "So how come I can remember that, but I can't remember Sally's real name? Not only that, but when the symbiote bonded with Britney Spears, I actually thought her music was good. Why does the symbiote's reality-warping powers only sometimes modify our memories?"

"I think it's because it tries to warp the physical aspects of reality if possible," said Sally. "If the reality-warping changes don't apply to the physical world, then it warps whatever does apply – in the case of my name and Britney Spears' popularity, our minds. The whole point of Britney Spears bonding with the reality-warping symbiote was to make her popular, which meant that everyone had to like her."

"So how come your mind is unaffected by the symbiote?" asked Gwen.

"Well, I don't like to brag," said Sally, blushing a little, "but I have been known to have a particularly strong mind that cannot be forcefully bent to the will of others."

"That makes you pretty useful to our mission," said Jack. "You can look for clues that the rest of us can't see."

"I guess I should start looking," said Sally. She searched through her own bag for a few seconds. "My manga volumes! They're all gone!"

"What manga were you looking for?" asked John.

"I'm not even going to try to say it," said Sally, who had been looking for "Hikaru no Go." "If I do try, it will sound disgustingly wrong. Anyway, my volumes were in Japanese, and I was expecting the writing to change to English, with everyone's names being changed. I wasn't expecting them to be stolen."

"They weren't stolen," said John. "They disappeared completely."

"How can you be so sure?" asked Sally.

"Because I know who is currently bonded with the symbiote," said John. "Does anyone have a laptop, or something that can browse the Internet?"

Sally took out her android phone.

"Search Google for 'Al Kahn's thoughts on manga,'" said John.

Sally obeyed.

"I think manga is a problem because we're in a culture that is not a reading culture," said Al Kahn's voice from Sally's phone. "Kids today don't read, they read less today. In every survey, we find that they're watching more television, they're on the Internet more, and that content, although being king, is very disposable. Because the way content gets put out now, it gets put out free. We're streaming most of our shows. The reason why we're streaming them is we want kids to watch them as much as they can, and get vested in the concept and go out and buy products. The products ain't free. The content is going to be free. And manga in my mind is trying to put a square peg in a round hole in the U.S. It will never be a big deal here, for the kids that are in the computer or the Internet generation, because they're not going to read. They haven't read, and they're not going to start now."

"I think I'm going to be sick," said Sally.

"So this Al Kahn guy doesn't like manga, or books in general," said Jack. "Does he also not like Japanese names?"

"Totally," said John. "He's the CEO of 4Kids TV – a company that translates Japanese anime into English. But they do more than just translate. They censor all aspects of Japanese culture, trying to make kids think that the shows were American to begin with."

"Do they ever swear in the 4Kids versions of anime?" asked Sally.

"Never," answered John. "Not even the two least vulgar swears I mentioned earlier. BLEEP, even Disney cartoons use them on occasion."

"Jack!" said a woman's voice with a British accent. Jack turned around to find a woman walking towards him. "It's good to see you!"

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" asked Jack.

The woman rolled her eyes. "Take a good look at me," she said.

"Okay," said Jack. "You look familiar, but..."

"Now close your eyes, and picture me standing in front of you, but imagine that my skin is darker."

Jack closed his eyes for a second, then opened them. "Martha Jones?"

Martha nodded.

"How did you become white?" asked Jack.

"I have no idea," said Martha. "Half an hour ago I was black. Then suddenly, I was white."

"It's the symbiote," said John.

"Hang on," said Gwen. "The symbiote switched hosts yesterday, but Martha's only been white for half an hour."

"It takes about twenty-four hours for the effects to kick in after the symbiote bonds," said John.

"But back at the airport, when the symbiote tried to possess me and failed, it re-bonded with you and made you invisible instantly," said Sally.

"That's probably because the bond between the symbiote and me was still fresh," said John.

"Would someone mind starting from the beginning and telling me what's going on?" asked Martha.

"There's a powerful symbiote that can bond with a host..." started Jack.

"I know what a symbiote is!" said Martha.

"...and warp the very fabric of reality based on its host's persona," finished Jack.

"And its current host hates black people?" said Martha.

"I'm not sure," said Jack. "We know his name: Al Kahn. We know that he's in charge of a company called 4Kids, which edits Japanese cartoons by translating them into English, and also Americanizing the cultural aspect. Now that Kahn has the symbiote, he's doing the same thing to the real world that he does to anime."

"He hates black people, all right," said John. "One of the shows he dubbed was 'One Piece' – although 4Kids lost the license to that show to FUNimation after two years. While 4Kids still had the license, they edited one of the characters by changing his skin from black to white."

"I'd like to have a word with this Kahn bloke," said Martha angrily.

"Did you just say 'bloke'?" asked Jack.

"What about it?" asked Martha.

"Apparently 4Kids isn't censoring British cultural slangs," said Jack.

"That's probably because a handful of the 4Kids voice actors are British," said John.

* * *

"Mr. Kahn, sir," said a 4Kids employee, "there are five people who wish to see you."

"What do they want?" asked Kahn.

"They weren't very specific," said the employee. "They just said that they have some important information that you need to know about your closest friend. They said you'd understand."

___They are referring to me,_ said the symbiote's voice in Kahn's head.

___I know that,_ said Kahn. ___Should we let them in?_

___Sure, why not?_ said the symbiote.

"Send them in," said Kahn.

Jack, Gwen, Martha, John and Sally entered the room. Gwen scanned Kahn. "The symbiote is definitely inside him," she said.

"Symbiote, meet Martha Jones. Martha Jones, meet the symbiote. The rest of us, the symbiote has already met."

"What about me?" asked Kahn. "Aren't you going to introduce me? I'm feeling left out."

"You're the symbiote," said John.

"No, I'm Al Kahn," said Kahn. "The symbiote is a very close friend of mine – both emotionally and physically."

"I don't believe it's Al Kahn talking," said John. "I think it's the symbiote."

Jack scanned Kahn with his own scanner. "Actually, according to my scanner, most of his physical body output is under no influence of the symbiote."

"But when the symbiote possessed me, I had no control over my body!" objected John.

"Maybe it's because the symbiote needs to balance its energy between controlling its host and warping reality," speculated Sally. "When it bonded with you, all it had to do was make you invisible."

"Besides, why would it need to control me?" said Kahn. "We're already good friends."

"Kahn, the symbiote can't be trusted," said Jack. "Now, I'm willing to show it mercy if it's willing to cooperate. I have a jar here that's designed to contain psychic symbiotes. Once it's in the jar, I will interrogate it, then if I determine that it's safe, I will return it to its home world."

"And what if I don't want to go in the jar?" sakd Kahn, whose voice had suddenly grown colder, indicating that it was now the symbiote talking.

"Then I will have no choice but to shoot you," said Jack, pointing a gun at Kahn. "This will leave Kahn's human body unharmed, but it will destroy the symbiote."

"You won't be doing that," said the symbiote.

"Oh, yes I will," said Jack. He then pulled the trigger.

___Squirt._

"That wasn't very nice," said Kahn, whose voice was back to normal, and whose face was dripping wet.

Gwen scanned Kahn again. "The symbiote is still present," she said.

"Of course it is," said John. "That's a water pistol you fired."

"No it isn't," said Jack. "I swear it's a delta wave gun designed to destroy specific targets and pass through all other matter without harming it."

"It's a water pistol now," said John, "thanks to the 4Kids curse."

"You think this is a curse?" said Kahn. "With the symbiote's help, I've brought peace."

"Peace is nice," said Martha, "but the racism needs to stop."

"Racism?" repeated Kahn. "That usually implies violence and hate crimes."

"Keyword: usually," said Sally.

"But those are the times when racism is a problem," said Kahn. "All I want to do is help you fit into society."

"No, you want us to ___blend_ in," said Sally. "We don't need to ___blend_ in in order to ___fit_ in. I'm perfectly happy with the diversity I had."

"Wow, that's deep," said John.

"Deep won't help us defeat the symbiote," said Jack.

"You're right," said Sally. "But maybe we could make a deal with it."

"Like what?" asked Jack.

"I challenge you to a game of Go," said Sally. "If I win, the symbiote unbonds with Kahn and goes into Captain Harknass' s jar."

"Why would I agree to that?" said Kahn. "I've never played Go before."

"Maybe Al Kahn hasn't," said Sally, "but the symbiote is an intelligent life form from outer space."

"And I suppose that automatically makes me a formidable Go player?" said the symbiote's voice from Kahn's mouth.

"Well, are you?" asked Sally.

"Yes, actually," admitted the symbiote. "But if you want me to go into that jar if I lose, you have to wager something equally valuable if I win."

"If you win," said Sally, "then I will allow you to bond with me."

"Why would the symbiote even want that?" asked Kahn. "We're best friends."

"Don't worry," said the symbiote. "I don't have to bond with you to be your friend. If I obtain her power, I can do anything you want me to do, and more."

"That's the most pathetic lie I've ever heard!" said John. "Even Al Kahn isn't stupid enough to fall for that!"

"Don't be too sure," said Jack. "Have you ever heard of wishful thinking?"

"Speaking of lies," said the symbiote, "how do I know you won't just force me out again if I win?"

"I was just about to ask you the same question," said Sally.

"I have an idea," said John. "Kahn and the symbiote together can turn 4Kids anime into reality. Let's make this a shadow game, like in Yu-Gi-Oh!. In a shadow game, the loser cannot break his or her promise regarding the outcome of the game."

"Good idea," said the symbiote. "Sally Smith, soon you will be mine!"

Kahn stood up and took down a gold-colored pyramid-shaped object from his shelf.

"What's that?" asked Sally.

"It's called a Millennium Puzzle," said Kahn. "In Yu-Gi-Oh!, Millennium Items were usually necessary for creating shadow games."

Sally took out a Go board that she carried in her bag at all times. She set it up on the table while Kahn hung the Millennium Puzzle on a string around his neck. He held it in his hands and concentrated. After a few seconds, the eye on the Millennium Puzzle started glowing.

Sally bowed. _"Game on!"_ she and Kahn said together.

"Wait, that's not what I meant to say at all," said Sally.

"I suggest you just go with it," said John.

Neither Jack nor Gwen nor Martha had any experience with Go. John, on the other hand, was very experienced by human standards, ranked about 4dan (non-professionally). He saw both Sally and the symbiote play strong moves that he would never have imagined. However, he was pretty good at calculating who had more territory, although Sally and her opponent were both better than John at claiming more territory, taking the opponent's territory away, and defending one's own territory. John saw that the difference between territory was slowly growing larger in Sally's favor, but it remained very narrow until the late mid-game.

Sally remembered the game she had played against a Slitheen back when she first met the Doctor, as well as a game against a Sontaran after she parted with the Doctor. The symbiote was significantly stronger than the Slitheen, but a little weaker than the Sontaran.

In the end, Sally won by ninteen and a half points. The symbiote should have resigned before the game was over, but it was facing imprisonment in Jack's jar.

"No!" said the symbiote as the Millennium Puzzle started glowing again. "I will not go into that jar!"

"Too late," said John. "You can't break your promise now."

"Help me, Kahn!" said the symbiote. "Together we can undo the reality of the Millennium Puzzle!"

Kahn squeezed his eyes shut, held his breath and clamped his hands around the Millennium Puzzle. After a second, the Puzzle stopped glowing. Kahn exhaled, then took the Puzzle and the string it was hanging from off his neck and threw the Puzzle out the window.

"Get out of my office, ___now!_" he said angrily.

* * *

"We were so close!" said John as they went outside and picked up the Millenium Puzzle off the ground.

"How are we going to defeat the symbiote now?" asked Martha.

"I think we're asking the wrong question," said Sally. "It's not 'how,' so much as 'why.'"

"You mean, 'why should we defeat the symbiote?'" asked John. "Who's side are you on?"

"No," said Sally, "I meant 'why would the symbiote choose to bond with Kahn, of all people?' What's it trying to accomplish?"

"I've been wondering that question myself," said Jack, "but I'd rather defeat the symbiote before I find out the answer."

"But if we could figure out the answer before it happens," said Sally, "it might give us a clue as to how to defeat it."

"We saw what happened when Jack tried to shoot it," said Martha. "Maybe it's trying to make Earth defenseless against an alien attack."

"But what if it also censors alien weapons used against Earth?" asked John.

"I doubt it will," said Sally. "You said that the symbiote was looking for a specific target, presumably Al Kahn. I think someone else told it to look for him. That someone is probably an alien who told it not to censor that alien's weapons, but only Earth weapons."

"But my delta wave gun isn't an Earth weapon," said Jack.

"By 'Earth weapon,' I didn't mean 'made on Earth,'" said Sally. "I meant used by Earth to defend Earth."

"Wait a minute," said John. "If these aliens want to destroy Earth, they may succeed, but they won't be able to reuse their weapon on other planets, since Al Kahn will be destroyed with the rest of the human race. Therefore it must be someone who holds a particular grudge against Earth."

"I do know one species of people who might be particularly interested in eliminating the Human race, but not the planet itself," said Jack.

"But how will knowing this help us stop the symbiote?" asked Gwen.

"Kahn probably believes that he can censor weapons from an alien attack just as easily as Earth weapons," said Sally. "If I can show him that he's wrong, he might be willing to expel the symbiote. I have a plan to help that process along, but I can't guarantee that it will be successful."

"But the only way to prove him wrong would be to wait until the attack actually happens," said Martha. "Then it will be too late."

"Not if we time it perfectly," said Sally. "That's where you come in, Miss Jones."

"How's that?" asked Martha.

"If I am successful in ridding Kahn of the symbiote, reality will return to normal," answered Sally. "We need some kind of signal that will indicate the exact time that happens, so that we can immediately launch our defensive weapons."

"Right, I understand now," said Martha.

* * *

The five of them each took their separate battle positions. Martha went to her headquarters at UNIT. Gwen took an airplane back to Cardiff, England to man the Torchwood defenses. Jack gave her his own psychic paper so that Gwen could get to Cardiff as quickly as possible. Jack himself stayed in New York, ready to pilot a jet for reasons the rest of the team weren't quite sure of at the moment. Sally and John went back to Kahn's office.

"I thought I told you to get out of my office!" said Kahn.

"Says the man who is about to be responsible for the destruction of planet Earth," said John.

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Kahn.

Sally pressed a speed-dial button on her phone. "Hello, it's Sally Smith. That's still not my real name, but anyway, It's time to go live. Over."

Gwen pressed a button on a Torchwood control panel, and Kahn's TV suddenly displayed a bunch of spacecrafts above Earth's atmosphere.

"No problem," said Kahn. "They can't hurt us. If they do, I'll just censor them."

"That's what you think," said John, "but the symbiote has something else in mind. It was sent here by those aliens to make Earth defenseless."

"Don't listen to them, Kahn!" said the symbiote's voice from Kahn's mouth. "They're lying!"

"Actually, I thought that Captain Harknass said that the Silurians weren't aliens," said Sally. "They were the former dominant species on Earth before humans."

"How do you know about the Silurians?" asked the symbiote.

"I didn't," said Sally. "I only suspected, until you confessed just now."

Suddenly, the Silurians started firing. One of the missiles hit UNIT headquarters. "The shield density is being compromised!" said one of the UNIT staff.

The outside of UNIT headquarters was on Kahn's TV, showing the building unharmed.

"See?" said Kahn. "No problem."

"That's because UNIT has force fields protecting them," said Sally. "The 4Kids censorship spell only affects destructive weapons – not shields." She then spoke into her phone. "We need a shot of civilian areas!"

Kahn's TV switched to a view of streets filled with people screaming. Missiles hit, and people died.

"Impossible!" said Kahn.

"You've been tricked," said John. "We're all going to die, and it's all your fault."

"But there must be something we can do!" said Kahn.

"You need to focus the symbiote's reality-warping abilities and control them," said Sally.

"I can't!" said Kahn.

"Maybe you're not strong enough to warp the reality of an entire Silurian battle fleet," said John, "at least not without the symbiote's consent. But maybe you can focus its power on one Millennium Puzzle." He walked over to Kahn and hung the Puzzle around Kahn's neck.

Sally placed Jack's containment jar on Kahn's desk. "The symbiote has already lost the bet from that Go game," she said. "All you need to do is make the Millennium Puzzle real to finalize the deal."

Kahn closed his eyes. A faint light began to glow from the Millennium Puzzle's eye. After a second, it disappeared.

Kahn's eyes opened, revealing a sinister glare. "You've failed, Sally Smith," said the symbiote.

"Damn!" said John.

Sally turned to face John. "What did you just say?"

"I said..." started John. "Oh my God! I actually swore!"

"Impossible!" said the symbiote as the light in the Millennium Puzzle's eye reappeared.

"By the way," said Sally, "my name isn't Sally Smith. It's Yumi Yamada!"

"No!" cried the symbiote as the Puzzle glowed brighter. A field of energy appeared to flow from the edges of Kahn's body inward, converging at the Millennium Puzzle.

"Actually," said John, "I kind of prefer the way your full name sounds in Asian name order."

_"____Yamada Yumi!"_ said John and Yumi together.

The symbiote screamed as it was sucked from Kahn's body, through the Millennium Puzzle and into Jack's jar.

_"____Sayonara!"_ said Yumi and John together, each waving both hands.

Meanwhile, at UNIT headquarters in New York...

"Shields off line!" said a UNIT staff after another missile had struck.

Martha looked at the skin on her hands. It was darker than it had been a few seconds ago. "Fire at will!" she screamed.

"Fire at will!" repeated the chief into a communicator that was linked to all other UNIT headquarters across the globe.

The UNIT weapons staff started firing missiles up at the Silurian fleet while the shield staff worked on repairing the shields as quickly as possible.

"The symbiote has failed us!" said a Silurian warrior in one of the ships as a nearby ship was hit by a missile. "Open fire on 4Kids headquarters!"

Yumi and John were leaving Kahn's office. They were standing outside when Yumi saw the missile coming down.

"Should we run?" asked John.

"I don't think we can run fast enough to escape the blast radius," said Yumi.

Suddenly, a jet airplane collided with the missile in midair. The jet disintegrated, and something fell out of the sky from where the collision had occurred.

Yumi and John watched in horror as the body of Captain Jack Harknass hit the ground.

"He gave his life to save ours!" said Yumi sadly.

"Wait a minute," said John. "His jet disintegrated, so why didn't he?"

Suddenly Jack sat up and inhaled deeply with a loud gasp.

"You're alive!" said Yumi joyfully.

"I can't ever die," said Jack. "Ever. You, on the other hand, won't be so lucky. The Silurians are ready to fire another missile any minute now."

"So what are we going to do?" asked John. "You can't use yourself as a shield again unless you can get back up in the sky."

"Actually, I contacted a Silurian colony underground and told them what their rogue fleet was doing," said Jack. "I still needed that jet to buy some time for you."

"Halt!" said a voice from every electronic speaker on the planet. "This cowardly attack will stop at once! We are better than this. You are a disgrace to the Silurians!"

"Apparently the Silurians know English," said John.

"I don't think that Silurian was actually speaking English," said Jack. "They have advanced translating software."

"But how come I was hearing English?" asked Yumi. "The last time I encountered a translator, it made me understand what I was hearing in my head, but it didn't change the way it sounded."

"This isn't a psychic translator," said Jack. "It rewrites the audio coming out of the speakers. It's being broadcast around the planet, being translated in each area in whatever language is most popular in that area."

"What about the Silurian fleet?" asked John.

"The Silurian from the colony below was obviously addressing them," answered Jack, "and he was probably speaking to them in native Silurian. He wanted the human race to hear him so that we would know that he's on our side."

* * *

Yumi, John and Jack met with Martha and the rest of the New York branch of UNIT. "Miss Yamada, please hand over the symbiote," said the chief.

"What will you do to it if I give it to you?" asked Yumi.

"That thing almost destroyed our planet," said the chief. "It must be destroyed."

"It's also a sentient life form!" argued Yumi. "I won't let you destroy it!"

"If you defy me, I will have no choice but to arrest you," said the chief.

"You can't do that!" said John. "She's responsible for saving the planet in the first place! I mean, we all worked together, but Yumi contributed more than the rest of us combined."

"Even so, I must have the symbiote in my custody," said the chief.

"If you're a top-secret alien defense agency," said Jack, "then surely you've heard of the Doctor."

"How is this relevant?" asked the chief.

"Do you know what he was called during the Time War, besides the Doctor?" asked Jack. "He was often referred to as the Oncoming Storm. He was feared by all his enemies. Even the Daleks and Sontarans, who claim to be fearless, would much rather face each other than the Doctor.

"Now I recently did some quick interstellar research on this girl – Yamada Yumi, I believe – and I found out that she has acquired her own nickname across the stars. While the Doctor is the Oncoming Storm, she is the Angel of Mercy."

"And what exactly does she want to do with the symbiote?" asked the chief.

"I will have it sent back to its home planet somehow," said Yumi. "I'm just not sure how."

"The Silurians will know how," said Jack. "They were the ones who found the symbiote and made the deal with it in the first place."

* * *

A few days later, Yumi and John were enjoying a relaxing day at the beach together.

"It sure feels good to finally get a proper holiday, doesn't it?" said John. "A peaceful holiday, I mean."

"I wasn't aware that today was a holiday," said Yumi.

"Sorry," said John. "I thought you knew that we British have slightly different vocabulary than Americans. I believe that what we call holidays you call vacation."

"Actually, I call it ___yasumi__,_" said Yumi. "But when I studied English, my primary focus was on American English."

"Sorry, did I say 'you?'" said John. "I meant 'Americans.'"

"So what do you call days like Christmas and Easter?" asked Yumi.

"We call them Christmas and Easter," said John.

"No, I mean, Americans call them holidays," said Yumi. "What do the British call them?"

"Oh, we call them bank holidays," said John.

"Hey doll, is this guy bothering you?" said a random guy at the beach.

"No," said Yumi. "I actually find him quite interesting."

"I can be interesting," said the guy.

"Maybe, but your still a complete stranger to me," said Yumi, "and your already flirting with me inappropriately."

The guy tried to think of a counterargument, but gave up and walked away.

"Maybe this bikini wasn't such a good idea," said Yumi.

"Actually, I think you look beautiful no matter what you're wearing," said John. "But that string bikini especially brings it out in you," he added.

"Thanks," said Yumi, blushing a little. "Anyway, I'm going to miss you when we go home."

"I don't want to go home," said John. "I want to go to Japan with you."

"But don't you have a family back in England?" asked Yumi. "Wait a minute. Miss Cooper said you lived in an orphanage."

"You remembered," said John.

"But even so, won't they worry about you?" asked Yumi.

"I was never that close to those folks," said John.

"But you still can't disappear without a trace," said Yumi.

"Sure I can," said John. "If they think I'm dead, they may feel sorry for me, but only at the level that they would feel sorry for anyone whose name they read in an obituary."

"That's not very reassuring," said Yumi.

"All the more reason I don't want to go back," said John. "The only problem is that I don't have any money for a plane ticket to Japan or England."

"I can pay for that," said Yumi. "Do you speak Japanese?"

"Hai," said John. "Yamada-sama ga daisuki desu." (Yes. I like you a lot, Yamada-sama.)

Yumi blushed deep red. "I like you too, Smith-kun, but please don't call me 'sama.' I'm not a warlord or a noblewoman!"

"Oops," said John. "I guess my Japanese isn't that great," said John. "What do people call you?"

"Back in Japan, I have to put up with being called 'Yamada-Sensei,'" said Yumi. "But you can call me 'Yumi.'"

"And you can call me 'John,'" said John.

___The End._


End file.
